For The Week Of 03/31/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes a genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East and asks the genie if he can bring peace to this part of the world. The genie pales, and says, “Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen.” “OK”, the guy says, “tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me with the best blow job I’ve ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT, because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!” The genie shakes his head and says, “Let me see that map again.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Flamethrower On Cars -Luxury Option In South Africa.
Play Butch -Very Scary Lesbians.
24 Hours Of Porn! -Great Experiment!
Blood Alchol Calculator -How Drunk Are You!
Card Tricks -Super Cool!
War On Terror -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Movies!

Next time you go to a movie, head to the concession stand and pick up some food. As you approach the person who rips your ticket, fold the ticket in half at the perforated line. Show the “stub” and act like you’re returning to the movie, having already had your ticket ripped in half. After the movie, unfold the ticket, go to the ticket window, and tell the cashier that you bought a ticket for your friend, but he couldn’t make it. You should get a full refund. contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Sarah

I had my first child a year ago, and I feel as if my vagina was bombed. I don't have nearly the sensation I used to. Am I doomed?

A:
Absolutely not. Your bundle of joy may have stretched you out a bit, but you can bounce back. "Your vaginal canal is a muscle, and like your thighs, it can be tightened and toned," says Brandeis. Fortunately, Kegel exercises, which squeeze the muscles around the vagina, work wonders. To do them, just contract your vaginal muscles as if you're trying to stop a stream of urine. Repeat in sets of 20 about ten times a day while ironing, gardening, typing -- whatever. Not a soul in the world will be able to tell.

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Anti Tank Missle!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "anti.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "anti.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A 36-year-old man from Arcadia, Fla., checked himself into a counseling clinic in March after being identified as the one who had been pretending in public to be choking on food and persuading women to grasp him in the Heimlich maneuver, after which he would hug them lavishly and attempt clumsily to develop a relationship. A sheriff's spokesman in Charlotte County, site of the most recent reports, said the man probably had done nothing illegal. (Novelist Chuck Palahniuk, author of "Fight Club," recently published "Choke," whose storyline roughly matches the man's actions, but apparently some Florida incidents predated the book's publication.) [Port Charlotte Sun-Herald, 3-3-03; Tampa Tribune-Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 3-12-03]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Dave showed us that having a good memory was not the only thing he had in common with an elephant."-Naz
Runners-up
"Oh come on, just scratch his trunk and see what he shoots out"-Cybil
"Damnit, I said hung like a horse"-Farah



contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_caption



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