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OF THE WEEK
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He asked his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem,their daughter's' date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down,then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?'Jack replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son In-law.'
Control your drinking. If you're drinking so much that you're drunk dialing every night and stirring up conflicts with everyone in your contact list, consider toning it down a bit. Having less to drink when you go out helps you make better judgment calls at the end of the night, which ultimately means making no calls at all.
Give your phone to a trusted friend who won't give in to your pleas of desperation throughout the night. This way your phone is close by if you need to make a legitimate call, but your friend will be the judge of that. Let her keep the phone until the next morning if possible.
Delete certain numbers from your contact list before you go out, and write them down to leave at home in a safe place if you prefer to keep your phone with you. Key numbers to delete are: anyone who you are mad at, your significant other, your ex and any unwilling soul who frequently finds himself on the other end of your drunken phone calls.
Leave your phone at home in extreme cases of no self control. Hide it in a place where you won't search for it when you stumble home at the end of the night.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org
My girlfriend and I discovered that every time she gives me oral sex, her mouth gets really dry and later she gets this mouth ulcer. Can you tell me if the two are related?
Itís important for your girlfriend to have these post-oral sex mouth ulcers diagnosed as canker sores instead of cold sores to rule out type 1 herpes simplex.
Canker sores are shallow mouth ulcers that arenít a symptom of an STD. In most cases, canker sores tend to develop because of stress, fatigue, viral illness or bacterial infection. Nevertheless, they are nothing to worry about seeing as they arenít contagious and usually dissipate within a few days.
Cold sores, on the other hand, are red blisters that generally affect the lip and the edge of the mouth, and are a symptom of herpes simplex virus.
Please refrain from oral sex before her sores are diagnosed. If she does indeed have herpes, you are at risk for developing genital herpes because of this direct contact.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
Playboy to launch in Philippines, eyes mature Dads
MANILA (Reuters) - Playboy magazine is launching in the Philippines next month and will be targeting mature men who like well-written articles and tasteful photographs of semi-nude women.
"Maxim and FHM are called laddy magazines. We can be called a Dad magazine," Beting Laygo Dolor, Playboy Philippines' editor, told Reuters on Thursday.
"We are targeting a more mature market, Filipino men, 30 and above."
"There will be no full frontal nudity."
Mens' magazines with risque photos are already sold in the Philippines, which despite being a largely Catholic country has a macho culture that encourages promiscuity.
Although rural areas are more conservative, Manila and other large cities have a relaxed attitude to sex.
Dolor, who describes himself as a "bad Catholic," said the religion's values had influenced the decision not to go for a raunchier look for the magazine.
"I don't want to be ashamed to show it to my mother," said the father of four. "I have daughters in their twenties. It's something that I want them to also enjoy. I want them to be proud of their Dad."
Founded in 1953, Playboy has some 20 local editions around the world that cater to local taste rather than simply exporting and translating its U.S. content.
The magazine will be sold across the Philippines at a cost of 199 pesos ($4.76) and 70 percent of the content will be local.
Playboy's first edition in Indonesia in 2006 sparked protests although it had no nudity and less flesh visible in the issue than many other magazines on sale in the world's most populous Muslim country. Its editor was cleared of distributing indecent pictures last year.
Dolor said he didn't expect any uproar when his magazine hits the news stands on April 3.
"It's supposed to be a very good read," he said.
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