For The Week Of 04/01/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman who had the worst chronic headache goes to a famous “new age” holistic doctor, as a last resort. “Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won’t go away.” The doctor replied, “You have come to the right place. This is what I want you to do - go home, stare at yourself in the mirror, point your index fingers at your temples, and repeat this mantra: “I really don’t have a headache, I really don’t have a headache”. Do it as long as it takes, the headache is just going to vanish.” As she leaves the doctor’s office, skeptical but curious at the same time, she tries the maneuver in front of the mirror in the elevator. Fingers pointed at her temples, she starts repeating “I really don’t have a headache, I really don’t have a headache...”. She has barely said it four times, when she realizes her headache is gone. Shocked and elated, she runs back up to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you are a genius! Can I please send you my husband? He’s been having problems in a certain department... how can I put it... “ “When was the last time you two had sex?” asks the doctor. “About eight years ago.” she replied. The doctor says, “Yes, send him over.” A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her husband to come home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to wait, and goes straight to the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws her on the couch and starts making wild passionate love to her. When he’s finished, he goes right back to the bathroom. A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and starts at it again, like an insatiable young man. After another hour of great sex he goes and locks himself in the bathroom again. At this point the wife has become unbearably curious. She tiptoes to the bathroom door, looks through the keyhole, and sees her husband, staring at himself in the mirror, fingers pointed at his temples, repeating: “That woman is not my wife, that woman is not my wife.....”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Enron -Answering Service.
Kinky Games with GF -Spice Up Your Life.
Male Or Shemale -Can you Tell!
Delta -Fly Away!!
Pawsense -Make Your Comp. Cat Free!
Aol IMS -Wanna Cyber!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Unsavory Airline Passengers!
For the cattle car airlines, where you seat yourself according to boarding pass number, instead of assigned seating (e.g., Southwest Airlines): While at the bar before boarding your flight, dip the corner of a napkin in your drink (beer works well, a Bloody Mary even better). Unfolding the napkin as you walk onto the plane, place it on the seat next to you as you sit down. Now, close your eyes and suppress a smirk as the fellow cattle on your flight stop and see the open seat next to yours, as well as the apparent urine (or blood) stain that is apparently soaking into the napkin, and continue their journey towards the increasingly dismal ass end of the plane. Now you’ve nobody to fight with for the armrest, or, at least, you can be more selective on who shares the armrest.

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Walter.

This may not be the typical question you get but since you are a "doc" hey jd does this viagra shit really work? some of my friends have taken it and they say they can bang for hours again and again. is this true?

A:
i know how you feel..with the onslaught of advertising these days with a million different claims that never seem to be true it is hard to believe a product does what it is supposed to. well let me clear something up for you, the shit REALLY works. i have taken it before and a half of a 100mg tablet made my johnson so hard that i could have gone to the batting cages at grand prix race-o-rama with it. it makes your dick so hard that i'd be willing to bet almost any girl you are with on a consistent basis would say your dick "feels" bigger when using viagra. being so hard obviously increases your girth so that is a nice fringe benefit. the only thing that is negative about having a dick as hard as a granite counter top is that it can become a bit numb. that obviously really sucks and can really SUCK if it causes you not to be able to bust-a-nut. the clear answer is to just take less and that is what i do now when i take it. it is also really great when you've been out all night partying with a girl and been drinking a bit too much to be able to put on your normal performance. i have not taken it in a long time because i feel a true master can keep supreme penis control with just the mind so i feel like i'm cheating. you can easily make your dick as hard as viagra does with alternating teasing/flexing of the penis but sometimes it is just fun to take one. now before you go out and start taking this shit by the truckloads read up on it and consult a doctor! don't come crying to me that you were taking heart medication, snorted three of the damn things and woke up in a hospital after a heart attack still sporting wood. what is cool is you don't even have to go any further from where you are sitting now to get it (ahh, the net is so grand). just put "viagra" in one of the search engines and a million "online pharmacies" will come up. you can do an online consultation and everything. have fun with your new Louisville Slugger! (again, i am not endorsing the use of viagra. i'm just stating my personal experience with it. consult a doctor to see if it is right for you.) .

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Crazy Attack!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "down.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "down.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Rock On!!!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In March, some of the normally tightly restrained local press in Saudi Arabia reported that 15 schoolgirls in Mecca died in a fire, with the fatalities due at least in part to their being denied permission to flee the burning building without their scarves and abaya robes. Witnesses said police from the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice beat three girls until they retreated back into the smoke-filled building. Escape was further hindered because girls are always locked in at the school, in order to keep males out. [BBC News, 3-15-02]

 
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"It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again! (Buffalo Bill, The Silence of the Lambs)!!!!" -johnny
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"Does this bra make my dick look small?" -Chad
"For those times you need to throw up to keep drinking....try our new no fail vomit-inducer service!." -Jack




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