For the Month of April 2018

Sexy / Crazy / Funny News from Around the Web

Email links, pics & videos to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE MONTH

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat.

As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the greatest stamina is the Southern Redneck.” Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” he said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

SITES OF THE MONTH
Netflix -In 1995
No Spying -From Facebook
Northern Lights -Seen By a Pilot
Like Shazam -For Identifying Nature
Alice Guy-Blache -Film Legend
128k Detective -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Learn a Foreign Language with This Mac Wallpaper

There are a number of online services that can help you try and pick up a new language through daily practice. I’m currently struggling through French on Duolingo in an attempt to retrieve the eight years of it I took in school and have apparently forgotten. Depending on what language you’re trying to learn, a new desktop wallpaper could help speed your learning along.

Called Backwords, the wallpaper is currently only available for Mac computers and only for people who want to learn Dutch, Chinese (Mandarin), Korean, or Japanese (Kanji). Each day, the wallpaper will display a new word from the language you select. You can skip any words you already know (or don’t care to), and there are over 15,000 words available for each language, so you should be good to go for quite a few years in you stick to just one word a day. And don’t worry if you hate the crazy multicolored background image, you can swap that out with your own. Clearly, even if you make it through all 15,000 you’re not exactly going to be fluent in any of these. If you’re looking to fully learn a language I recommend kicking things off with Duolingo. That said, we all end up staring at our desktops quite a bit each day.

Picking up just a single word every day can add up pretty quickly, and the wallpaper could be a solid supplement to any other language learning classes (online or off) that you’re taking.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
SEX ADVICE

Q: submitted by EMTmichael

"I (23M) have been dating my SO (23F) for almost 4 years. Initially during our honeymoon phase, she would send flirty texts, be really enthusiastic and show a craving to sleep with me, etc. She had more enthusiasm and lust towards me.

Nowadays, I am the only one who is flirtatious, tries to be extra in the bedroom, hints my desires towards her. I've only gotten more in shape through the years, am about to get a job in my city's fire department, I always express my love and gratitude for her, support her and put her on a pedestal when talking about her to friends and coworkers (sincerely). We've discussed this a bit and now she asks if I want something (ie, blowjob) but it comes off as if it were a chore. I absolutely love this woman and she has been so supportive and loving to me. I have contemplated it a lot and I would love to marry her but this feels like a borderline deal breaker, as shallow as it might seem to some. Advice?"

A:

"Hi there, sorry to hear that something doesn't click. In my opinion, all of us have their own kinks that in most cases are too shy to show. So we are stuck with something that is considered "right" by socium. So try to share your deeper kinks and ask of hers. This site is actually a nice one to find mutual kinks: letsexperiment.xyz

But anyways, try to talk her out of the shell and fuck her through her fantasies rather than her body."

-Oagaith

Source
 
CLIP OF THE MONTH

Electrohome Dealers


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 
STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
NEW ZEALAND -- A dairy owner's fairy godfather helped police stop an offender. Kitted out in a pink crop top, tutu, fishnets and fairy wings, the man stopped an offender escaping a crime scene. Around 2pm on Sunday, a man entered a dairy on Hastings St in Napier wearing a balaclava and threatened a staff member, before being chased out of the dairy. Running across the street, the fairy and another member of the public tackled the offender to the ground. The man in pink, who had been taking part in a breast cancer awareness walk, phoned police and reported the incident. An off-duty officer was in the area and ran to the pair's aid to help restrain the offender until police arrived. Senior Sergeant Kevin Stewart wanted to thank the "fairy hero" for saving the day. "We want to give our pink fairy hero and his acquaintance a big pat on the back for preventing this offender from getting away," Stewart said. "While we encourage people to think about the risks involved before stepping in during an incident such as this, there is no denying that the efforts of these two good Samaritans have assisted us in preventing this person causing further harm in our community." A 42-year-old man has been charged with aggravated robbery and is set to appear in Hastings District Court on Monday. He was treated for minor injuries. Police are investigating the incident and would appreciate hearing from anyone who has any information. They can contact Napier Police on 06 831 0700.

We accept the pink uniform is rather effective and was popular with bystanders," Stewart said. "But I think we'll be sticking to the blue."
 
WRITE YOUR OWN CAPTION!
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Winner
"You never count your money, when you're twerkin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the twerkin's done." -Marcus

Runner-up
"Aces high, asses low." -Chachi


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