For The Week Of 04/04/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained.

"I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out.

"I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did."

"Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ninjai -The Little Ninja
Criminal Check -FYI!
Xylophone -Funny
Mitch HEdberg's Best Quotes -RIP.
Three Inches Of Thunder -Hilarious
Oshiro -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Motel Quickes
Next time you get lucky at a club but can't take her back to your parents house. Try this! Go to any national chain, check in with your lucky lady. Do the deed. After you have cleaned up go back to the hotel clerk. Complain about how a cockroach in the bathroom has forever scared your princess and you will need vacate ASAP. Pick up your credit card (the hotel should cancel the charge) and walk out the hotel without snickering too hard. Viola, free place to get your groove on.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Lindy
Lately I've been fantasizing about having a threesome with my boyfriend and another girl. I love my guy, but now I'm wondering if I might be bisexual. How should I go about talking to him about this?

A:
It's totally normal to think about all sorts of sexual scenarios. But it doesn't mean you have to -- or even want to -- turn your fantasies into reality. Nor does it mean you're bisexual. It's quite common for straight women to become aroused by the idea of having sex with another woman. You say you are in love with your boyfriend, so don't stress about it. Just enjoy your erotic daydreams, using them to amp up your masturbation or sack sessions, without feeling guilty or worried. You don't have to share all your sexual whims with your man, but if you want to, he'll probably find it a turn-on, too. Let your mental ménage à trois be the inspiration for some fun dirty talk. Simply discussing the juicy details together may be enough to satisfy you. If the two of you do decide to try a trio, proceed with care. You never really know how you'll feel once you're confronted with the sight of your boyfriend being intimate with another woman. And while your guy may think that watching you get it on with a female will be fun, he might get super-jealous, too. This kind of sexual experimenting requires an exceeding amount of maturity, not to mention a very tight bond between you and your partner. Chances are, you're better off keeping these desires in the fantasy realm rather than taking the chance of ruining a relationship.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Poker Chip Tricks
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "poker.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "poker.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
(04-01) 22:49 PST Poughkeepsie, N.Y. (AP) -- Viewers expecting to see the latest local meeting on their public access channel got an eyeful recently when Cablevision played a tape of nude dancers accidentally. The mistake affected customers in parts of Dutchess, Ulster, Putnam and Orange counties. Hopewell Junction resident George Morton returned home from Palm Sunday Mass and turned on his television to see a striptease contest. "I thought, this is terrible," Morton said. "I don't get HBO or anything like that." Cablevision said Thursday it was not a public access program and that a "program switching error" occurred. "When it was detected, the programming was removed immediately," Cablevision spokesman Bill Powers said. "We have taken appropriate steps to prevent this from happening again." Morton said he planned to file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.
 
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Winner
"There's something about "Larry"...!"-Scott
Runners-up
"Martha, Will you marry me"-Izzo
"What can Brown do for you" -Blake



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