For The Week Of 04/05/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Darth Vader -Blogs?!
Craigslist Posting Of Cheater Hiding -In The Closet!
For When Youre -Bored At Work!
Black Dyanamite -Yoself, WOOOH!
Best Robocop Comparison -Ever!
Test Pilot -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Reshape The Job You Hate.

Tip #1: Prioritize tasks by their importance or frequency. On your first day you were given a job description with a series of tasks that you are expected to complete. The reality on the job is that you are responsible for more than those tasks. Identify your primary tasks. What tasks must you complete each day to consider it an official work day? An administrative assistant must answer the phone and send email messages each day, while an executive may opt not to communicate with others to complete planning behind the scenes. Create a short task list of no more than three tasks. This priority list is based on what you actually do, not necessarily based on your job description.

Tip #2: Set time limits. After you've identified the three most important tasks, designate time for each one. Begin with 20 minutes for each task, then expand it. If your tasks takes more than an hour, it may not be one task but a group of tasks. Be sure to make sure it's only one task. Time is arguably your most important resource on a job. How you use it often determines your success.

Tip #3: Schedule your day. Many of us fantasize about an ideal vacation day at a far-off location. Have you ever thought about creating that ideal day at work? Imagine your perfect work day. On a piece of paper, list the hours of your work day. Then schedule your primary tasks by hour. Be sure to include breaks and lunch. After you've scheduled your tasks, what will you do with your "free" time? By imagining an ideal work day, you'll begin to notice what or who stops you from completing tasks.

Tip #4: Predict your outcomes. Many of us linger at jobs that bore or tire us because we've actually completed our initial goal for that job. You may hate your job because you've completed or lost motivation for a goal. Create a new goal. There is something to learn and experience at every job. What motivates you to success? Identify your goals and create a reasonable time frame to achieve them.

Tip #5: Identify your passions and strengths. Use your strengths to connect you with your passion. If you're not the computer tech but enjoy showing others how to use software, create a workshop for co-workers. If you prefer analyzing data to constant communication with coworkers, focus on data analysis in the morning when most co-workers are still getting into the day. Make your work matter by creating time for your passion each day.

Tip #6: Reshape your role. After you've identified what you would like to do, rewrite your job description. Group your tasks by the roles you play instead of the individual tasks themselves. Visual learners may prefer a storyboard that represents your newly defined role. For the next month, change the way you approach your job. If this approach works for you, consider discussing your performance with your employer after three months. By this time you will want to rid yourself of some tasks to take on another set of responsibilities. Get those small tasks off your plate to shine at your larger endeavors. You may even consider redesigning your job description and your title. Crafting your job empowers you to meld your passion with your responsibilities.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Tim.

Hi Tina, Ive been dating Sam for a year. Apparently Same just got an amazing job in New York and I live in Florida, jobless of course due to the economic situation. I don't want her to leave, but I dont want her to blame me if she does'nt take this big carreer move. She said its only for 2 years and that we can manage a long distance relationship. What do I do? Im really freaking out because shes everything I love in a woman. I dont want to lose her and all I hear is that long distant relationships never work.

A:
Dear Tim, I understand you're in a bind. No job and your chick is moving out of state sevral hundred miles away. I hope that you are looking for a job as I type this because first and foremost, no woman likes a man thats jobless and has no money. We like to see men that are independant and can make a good honest living. So that we dont feel like you want to depend on us for anything. Yeah I know, double standards, but, there are plenty of women like me who are independant as well. Second, two years? thats a long time buddy. If youre willing to get a job in New York and get a place with her or by yourself then do it! If youre not willing then just let her go. Long distance relationships may work for some people but 70 percent of long distance relationship usually break up within 6 months if there are no ground rules set up. Also a big factor on surviving a LDR is that can you two really be monogamous? I hope this helps you out. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Endless Caruso One-Liners!
 
 

.


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
SAN DIEGO (AP) - San Diego police said a man just out of the hospital for intoxication stole an ambulance and fled from police before they stopped him with spike strips. Police said 52-year-old Paul John Sos was arrested Saturday on suspicion of auto theft, failure to yield to police and felony drunk driving. Police Sgt. Ray Battrick said Sos had been found drunk and taken to Sharp Hospital in a private ambulance. Battrick said Sos checked himself out Saturday morning then found an unattended fire department ambulance with keys in the ignition. The ambulance had GPS installed and police quickly found it, but Sos refused to stop, leading a slow pursuit through residential streets before he was stopped with spike strips and arrested. Police did not know if he had hired an attorney.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T! Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"This guy is a winner for Le Tour De Fat"- John
Runners-up
"WalMart Shoppers Going Green" -Derrick



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |02-05-2007 |02-12-2007 |
|02-19-2007 |02-27-2007 |03-05-2007 |03-12-2007 |03-19-2007 |
|03-27-2007 |04-02-2007 |04-09-2007 |04-16-2007 |04-23-2007 |
|04-30-2007 |05-07-2007 |05-14-2007 |05-21-2007 |05-28-2007 |
|06-04-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-18-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-25-2007 |
|07-02-2007 |07-09-2007 |07-16-2007 |07-23-2007 |07-30-2007 |
|08-06-2007 |08-13-2007 |08-20-2007 |08-27-2007 |09-03-2007 |
|09-10-2007 |09-17-2007 |09-24-2007 |10-01-2007 |10-08-2007 |
|10-15-2007 |10-22-2007 |10-29-2007 |11-05-2007 |11-12-2007 |
|11-19-2007 |11-26-2007 |12-03-2007 |12-10-2007 |12-17-2007 |
|12-24-2007 |12-31-2007 |01-07-2008 |01-14-2008 |01-21-2008 |
|01-28-2008 |02-04-2008 |02-11-2008 |02-18-2008 |02-25-2008 |
|03-03-2008 |03-10-2008 |03-17-2008 |03-24-2008 |03-31-2008 |
|04-07-2008 |04-14-2008 |04-21-2008 |04-28-2008 |05-05-2008 |
|05-12-2008 |05-19-2008 |05-26-2008 |06-02-2008 |06-09-2008 |
|06-16-2008 |06-23-2008 |06-30-2008 |07-07-2008 |07-14-2008 |
|07-21-2008 |07-28-2008 |08-04-2008 |08-11-2008 |08-18-2008 |
|08-25-2008 |09-01-2008 |09-08-2008 |09-15-2008 |09-22-2008 |
|09-29-2008 |10-06-2008 |10-13-2008 |10-20-2008 |10-27-2008 |
|11-03-2008 |11-10-2008 |11-17-2008 |11-24-2008 |12-01-2008 |
|12-08-2008 |12-15-2008 |12-22-2008 |12-29-2008 |01-05-2009 |
|01-12-2009 |01-19-2009 |01-26-2009 |02-02-2009 |02-09-2009 |
|02-16-2009 |02-23-2009 |03-02-2009 |03-09-2009 |03-16-2009 |
|03-23-2009 |03-30-2009 |04-06-2009 |04-13-2009 |04-20-2009 |
|04-27-2009 |05-04-2009 |05-11-2009 |05-18-2009 |05-25-2009 |
|06-01-2009 |06-08-2009 |06-15-2009 |06-22-2009 |06-29-2009 |
|07-06-2009 |07-13-2009 |07-20-2009 |07-27-2009 |08-03-2009 |
|08-10-2009 |08-17-2009 |08-24-2009 |08-31-2009 |09-07-2009 |
|09-14-2009 |09-21-2009 |09-28-2009 |10-05-2009 |10-12-2009 |
|10-19-2009 |10-12-2009 |10-26-2009 |11-02-2009 |11-09-2009 |
|11-16-2009 |11-23-2009 |11-30-2009 |12-07-2009 |12-14-2009 |
|12-21-2009 |12-28-2009 |01-04-2010|01-11-2010 |01-18-2010 |
|01-25-2010 |02-01-2010 |02-08-2010 |02-15-2010 |02-22-2010|
|03-01-2010|03-08-2010|03-15-2010|03-29-2010|






[ back to sublime main ]