For The Week Of 04/09/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man was taking golf lessons one day. He swung the driver and hit it 150 yards. "What did I do wrong?" he asked. "Hold the club gently", said the pro." like you hold your wife's breasts." The man took the advice and hit it 275 yards. That night he told his wife about the lesson. The next day she went out for a lesson, too. She swung her driver and hit the ball about 50 yards. "No, no, you're gripping it way too hard", said the pro. "Hold the club like you would your husband's penis." The woman took the advice and swung the club. WHUMP, she hit it 15 feet. The pro said: "Now, try taking the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands..."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Free 411 -From Google
Ipod -Saves Life
Boy And His Frog -Jim Henson Tribute!
Lovely Lady Lumps -Alanis Morrisete Covers
John Stone-Change Your Body
Killing Me-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Drug Tests!
For passing a drug test when you’ve only got $5 in the pocket of your worn-out jeans, drink two liters of water mixed with one packet of Certo liquid fruit pectin (found at any grocery store) a couple of hours beforehand. Certo is the junk grandma used to make homemade preserves, and will taste like weak, sugarless lemonade when mixed with the water. Then, when you have to go, go. When your “product” resembles the Certo mixture, it’s time to take your drug test. I’ve been using this method for the last five years of my ten-year probation. I even smoke weed the night before and it works! Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Racheal
"Can a booty call ever turn into love?"

A:

My honest answer is "yes, but..." The sole purpose of a booty call is to get it on. A real relationship takes place in and out of bed. So, if you want to try to form a deeper connection with your sex buddy, see if he's interested in doing things with you that require wearing clothing. For example, if he spends the night, ask him if he wants to go out for brunch the morning after. Or, give him a call and suggest you catch a movie later in the week. Engaging in nonsexual activities will give you a chance to see if you have anything in common besides physical attraction. Plus, the dynamic between you two will be completely different, i.e., not so hormonally charged, which will let you find out if you really click — as people, not booty buddies. Be warned, though: There's a chance the guy may not want to pursue anything more concrete than a sexual relationship, so you need to prepare yourself for possible rejection. Another possible scenario: If you do get to know the "real" him, you may find that you're not that interested. Sex has a funny of way of intensifying feelings, so spending quality time out of bed can help you assess you really feel.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Prank Gone Wrong

 
 



Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
SEATTLE (AP) - A 14-year-old girl authorities allege was sexually abused by a 30-year-old woman who posed as a teenage boy said she didn't know about the ruse but eventually suspected it. "I kind of, like, guessed, but then every time I questioned her, she would get really mad," the girl told KOMO-TV of Seattle on Wednesday, "so I just stopped caring." Prosecutors allege that Lorelei Corpuz posed as a 17-year-old orphan to gain the trust of the girl's family, then beat and molested her. She was charged this week with two counts of third-degree child rape and one count of third-degree child molestation and was being held in lieu of $150,000 bail. The girl said in the KOMO interview that she had been lonely before the yearlong relationship began. Corpuz, who called herself Mark, met the girl at a mall and moved in with her. "Well, he was really nice, and he knew how to talk to me, because I didn't really have anybody to talk to because my mom and dad are always at work," she said. She told The Seattle Times in an interview published Thursday that the relationship initially was "a regular teenage girlfriend-boyfriend thing, like holding hands, hugging, kissing," but over time "she made it like a serious relationship, like we're married." Everett police Officer Don de Nevens wrote in a probable cause statement that although Corpuz had sexual contact with the girl, "the suspect never let victim see her/his private parts and victim always thought that suspect was male until officer informed her otherwise." Police said Corpuz was found out Sunday after an officer checked the suspect's vehicle, parked at an Everett gas station, to see whether it was stolen. The officer arrested Corpuz after the check pulled up an outstanding traffic warrant under an alias, Mark Villanueva. The 14-year-old also was in the vehicle, and the officer, who recognized Corpuz from an earlier arrest, asked the girl how she knew the suspect. "She indicated it was her boyfriend," Everett police Sgt. Robert Goetz said. "That obviously piqued the concern of the officer." Authorities allege Corpuz had sex with the girl, beat her and bit her twice on the back, leaving a scar. The Associated Press does not publish the names of people who allege they were sexually assaulted. Snohomish County prosecutors have filed charges in District Court against Corpuz, but expected to refile them in Superior Court. Everett police Sgt. Robert Goetz said he did not know if Corpuz had obtained a lawyer. With the help of a Vietnamese interpreter, officers interviewed the girl's mother on Wednesday, Goetz said. The mother indicated the family remains shocked by Corpuz's true identity, he said.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"WINNIE THE POOH'S COUSING, TEDDY THE BLEW!"-R
Runners-up
"True Hollywood Story: The Fall of Grizzly Adams."-OS
""Hells Angels" Canadian chapter."-Jamie
"And we wonder why Polar bears are going extinct....!"-BD



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