For The Week Of 04/12/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.” Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?” The kid says, “One.” The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?” The kid says, “$101,237.64.” The boss says, “$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?” Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?” Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, ’Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.’”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Throw Cards Like A Ninga -Sweet!
The Couch Club -Bored!
Women Of Kansas University! -Hot
Match Stick Rockets -Cool!
419 eaters -Get Scammers Back!
Rail Roads -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Drug Tests!
For passing a drug test when you’ve only got $5 in the pocket of your worn-out jeans, drink two liters of water mixed with one packet of Certo liquid fruit pectin (found at any grocery store) a couple of hours beforehand. Certo is the junk grandma used to make homemade preserves, and will taste like weak, sugarless lemonade when mixed with the water. Then, when you have to go, go. When your “product” resembles the Certo mixture, it’s time to take your drug test. I’ve been using this method for the last five years of my ten-year probation. I even smoke weed the night before and it works!
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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Gem
My boyfriend and I would have a great sex life if only he didn't ejaculate so quickly. How can I help him hold his horses?

A:
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common -- and fixable -- sexual problems men face. There are several "tricks" that can keep your guy from firing too soon. Start off by helping him become familiar with the precise sensation that he experiences before ejaculating. To do this, try the stop-start method: During foreplay, stroke his shaft to get him excited, but have him signal to you when he's about to orgasm so you can stop the stimulation for a short period of time. When his arousal level subsides, you can resume, repeating the cycle a few times before bringing him to orgasm. The idea is not only for him to last a little longer each time, but also to tune in to his body and actually train himself to hold back from coming. The best position for helping him hold back during intercourse is woman on top, which limits his ability to thrust vigorously. As in the stop-start exercise, take a temporary time-out if he gets too excited too soon. You can let him remain inside you without moving, or slide off of him and try the squeeze technique -- placing your thumb and forefinger below the head of his penis and squeezing gently -- until the urge to come has passed. Using a condom can also desensitize him, which will help increase him stamina.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Dog Boarder!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "dogboard.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "dogboard.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
An 18-year-old man drowned near Eudora, Ark., in December, when the he accidentally fell into a pit of water while attempting to drown his pit bull (which he thought was too old and docile), and the man's father also drowned when he jumped in to save his son. (The dog survived.) And when a construction trench collapsed in New York City in December, a worker was buried up to his neck, and emergency crews were summoned, but before they could arrive, a co-worker manning a backhoe tried to dig him out, but accidentally decapitated him. [KATV-TV (Little Rock), 12-9-03] [New York Daily News, 12-16-03]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Thar he blows, Moby's Dick"-M. Mast
Runners-up
"That's why the ocean is salty."-Jack
"And you thought that your job blows!!!"-Rick



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