For The Week Of 04/13/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of one of his customers. A beautiful 20 year-old woman answers the door in a transparent nightie and asks him what she can do to help him. He tells her that she owes him for four weeks' bill and that he needs the money. She wanted to know how much she owes him and he figures that, at four dollars a week for four weeks, she owes him 16 dollars. She told him that she doesn't have the 16 bucks but she will take him to bed and promise to make his teeth sweat. The kid figures, ‘what the hell’ and follows her into the house. They go into the bedroom where she gets naked and lies on the bed, touching herself provocatively. He drops his paperbag from his shoulder and pulls his pants down, revealing an 11-inch member! He reaches into the bag and pulls out Styrofoam spacers and starts to slide them over his penis to make it shorter. The girl says to him “Oh, don't worry boy, I can take all of that!” He looks up at her out of one eye and says ''Not for 16 dollars!".

SITES OF THE WEEK
If Rednecks -Ruled!
Best CNN -Bloopers!
Porn Chicks That -Should Go Mainstream!
Event -Planning!
Design Your -Own Shirts!
Prison Break Escape!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Participate in Virtual Sex With Others
Have Virtual Sex With Your Partner Step 1: Start out by talking with your partner about his or her fantasies—anything goes here so be as wild as you like. This is a good way of introducing sexual experiences that you haven’t had before. Step 2: Try to incorporate as many aspects of those fantasies as possible when you're ready to start your virtual sex session. Step 3: Be descriptive—recreate the feeling of having sex by paying attention to details such as touch, sound and smell. Have Virtual Sex With a Stranger Step 1: Locate a meeting place for virtual sex with others, such as a Virtual Sex Bar or online game. Step 2: Find a partner for virtual sex using the Web site’s search function, message board or chat function. Step 3: Discuss your fantasies with your new partner, then have fun acting them out!Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Brock

I heard some rumor that gravity and the prolonged wearing of boxers will make the testicles sag. Is that true?

A:
Dear Brock, However unpleasant a thought as it may be, gravity certainly does seem to take its toll on the body. When it comes to skin, it's a secondary factor: After the skin loses its elasticity, gravity begins to pull down the eyebrows, eyelids, ear lobes, cheeks, and jaw. We also see ugly gravity at work on older breasts, particularly those that went braless in their younger years. And yes, Josh, testicles do fall into gravity's grip as well. As you get older, you will notice them hanging progressively lower. Whether your choice of underwear has any bearing on gravity's effects has yet to be firmly established, although it does seem reasonable to conclude that the increased freedom that comes with boxers wouldn't help matters. Before making the switch away from them though, consider some of the benefits to sporting boxer shorts.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Chicago White Cocks
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Des Moines woman surprised police officers during a drunken driving arrest Thursday when she removed her clothing in a station holding area. Officer Eric Hartman wrote in his report, "About midway through the implied consent advisory, this officer experienced a first after nine years on the department. The driver began stripping off all of her clothes while I read the implied consent advisory -- one clothing piece at a time. Eventually, she got down to a point where she was completely naked and walking up and down the holding area." Police charged Sara Ann Fazio, 27, with driving while intoxicated, speeding, assault on a police officer and interference with official acts. She was stopped while driving near Second Street and Grand Avenue shortly before 2 a.m. Officer Hartman said in a report that Fazio was uncooperative, then started yelling and finally began pulling away from the officer, telling a passenger to "Call the police." Hartman called for back-up. When other officers arrived one of them asked Hartman if he wanted her to be placed in handcuffs. Hartman responded, "Yes. Good luck." Officers said Fazio spit on the windows of the squad car on the way to the station. Eventually, police said, Fazio calmed down and put her clothes back on. Officers listed Fazio's place of employment as The Lumberyard, which is a local strip club.
 
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