For The Week Of 04/15/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tell him that he has to leave for a while, and asks if he can handle it. The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. The following is a question given on a University chemistry exam paper: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and allsouls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities. (1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. (2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that hell is exothermic.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Beer Quiz -Name The Bottle.
Prank Gifts -Let Them Know How You Really Feel.
Asian Pride -Got Rice!
Nursey Pictures -Find Yours!!
Where Is My Pistol? -Planet Of The Apes Flash!
War On Terrorism -For Dummies!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat... ATMs!
Need to find out how much you have in your account, but have only other banks’ ATMs at your disposal? Avoid the balance inquiry charge by simply attempting to withdraw way more money than you have in your account. The teller machine will inform you that your transaction cannot be completed, as you have only X amount of dollars in available funds. Colin B. West Vancouver, British Columbia

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by tawnee.

hey jd, My boyfriend just got his nipples pierced and now i want to get my clit pierced. The only thing is i am very sskatered and don't know if i should do it or not. is it safe? help me jd.

A:
the first thing you want to be sure of is that you want it and that you want it for you. you may just want one b/c your boyfriend just got some piercings and you want something too now. i'd at least think about it for a week or two and make sure it is something you definitely want to do. i would also advise against the clit piercing and opt for the clitoral hood piercing instead. there are millions of nerve endings in that little love nub and not only will it hurt like hell, if something were to go wrong you could mess up your clit forever! if you get the hood piercing the bead or barbell (depending on the kind you get) will rest on the clitoris and provide some extra stimulation. also, keep in mind that it will take 1 to 2 months to completely heal and sex (and masterbation) are to be kept to a minimum and must follow certain guidelines. lastly, go to a skilled professional that has performed this kind of piercing MANY times before. don't go to your friend kleetis' new tatoo/piercing shop that he opened in his parents basement. if you get it done be sure to send us some pics for the sewer! good luck. ;-) .

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Half-Pipe Horror!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "skater.wmv" to your desktop. once skaterloaded simply double click the new "skater.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Pit Stop Disaster!!!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MADRID, Spain -- A prisoner on day leave robbed $230,000 from a bank, sent fellow inmates money orders signed Robin Hood, then quietly returned to his cell, police said. The 54-year-old prisoner was nabbed Friday when he was out on another furlough, police said Wednesday. Police tipped off by prison authorities - the man's jailhouse nickname was Robin Hood - followed him from Aranjuez outside Madrid to the city's main post office, and moved in when he started filling out money-order forms. The man's name was not released. Police said he had a long criminal record, mainly for armed robbery, and was on day leave from a sentence for a jewelry store holdup when he robbed a bank on Jan. 14. After he returned to prison in Aranjuez, 40 inmates received money orders totaling $7,000.

 
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"Where Waldo!!!" -Jake
Runners-up
"Thousands of little boys and girls, completely nude, were recovered from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch this week" -Brian
"The winner was quoted as saying "when I saw the smile and the erection on the guy behind me I knew I had to run to save my ass" -BOB




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