For The Week Of 04/18/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards him. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, " business... I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,"What's your business role at the convention?"

"Lecture," she replied "I'm the lead lecturer and I use information I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?"

She explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most apt to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that

Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best. I've also discovered that the lover with the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I am so sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Alaska -Summer Jobs
Stewie Griffin Sound Board -Crank Calls PLease!
Strange Dolls -Weird
Deadwood -Fact Or Fiction.
Shaken Art -Funny Stuff!
Puki -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Golf Courses
These days golf balls cost so much you almost need a co-signer. But here's a tip to keep your bag full of new balls, year round. On the back of most golf ball sleeves, there’s a guarantee of a new sleeve of balls for every “sliced ball” sent in. It’s worth your time to collect sliced balls from your buddies, the driving range, or even Ginsu up a few on your own. Sending back just four sliced balls will yield you a fresh dozen.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Mandy
My fiancé and I used to have a great sex life, but lately our libidos have been out of sync. I still get horny for him, but just not when he's horny. What can I do?
A:

Arousal patterns wax and wane, so it might just be a matter of time before you and your guy get back on the same horny track. Until such a point, consider this: Your libido isn't dead, it's just not in harmony with your man's. So, what's stopping you from acting on your desires and jumping him when you do get the urge? After all, spontaneity is key to a satisfying sex life. And, as long as the situation is appropriate, i.e., you can find some privacy, there's no right or wrong time to get randy. If your man tends to become aroused at particular times of day (or night), you can try some lust-inducing tricks to help you get in sync with his peaking pattern. For example: If he's usually up for action at night, prep for passion by taking a hot bath before bed and tapping into an erotic fantasy as you lather your bod all over. If he's more apt to want a morning shag, see if you can wake up before him and try some solo action so you'll be revved up by the time he's ready to roll. And, when you are doing the deed, make sure there are no distractions, like a blaring TV, so you can focus and let yourself completely surrender to every delicious sensation. It's also possible that some underlying issue is putting a crimp in your sex life. Perhaps you have some unresolved problems with your man, which could be interfering with your intimacy. Hopefully, since you're going to marry the guy, you can talk to him about anything that might be troubling you. Or, you could be stressed out about your wedding plans. If that's the case, make sure you reserve some downtime with him to chill and reconnect. Sometimes, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company is all it takes to get turned on.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Tiger Is The Man
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "tiger.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "tiger.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
RIYADH - Anyone using camera phones to distribute pornography may face up to 1000 lashes, a 12-year jail term and a 100,000 riyal ($26,670 ($37,000) fine under a proposed Saudi law. The proposed law comes after a Saudi court in January sentenced three men to jail and up to 1,200 lashes each for orchestrating and filming the rape of a teenage girl using telephones equipped with cameras and distributing the footage via the telephones. The conservative Muslim kingdom’s consultative 150-member Shura council was expected to endorse the new law soon, local newspapers said. The state telecommunications regulator earlier this year warned against using third generation (3G) mobile phones for "immoral" purposes. 3G mobile phones can access the internet, which is strictly controlled in Saudi Arabia, and receive high-quality video clips from adult sites. A ban was recently overturned on the import and sale of mobile camera phones. Religious leaders said they are used to invade privacy, particularly of women. The use of camera phones has triggered scuffles at weddings and girls schools after handsets were used to film and distribute pictures of unveiled women, newspapers have reported. Under Saudi Arabia’s strict Islamic rules, women must cover their heads in public. Saudi Arabia’s rapidly growing telecoms sector is gradually being opened up to competition, ending the monopoly of state-owned Saudi Telecommunications Co
 
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"His friends say it will never last, but Frankie doesn't care, he really loves that building."-Ian
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"brings a new meaning to a rock and a hard place"-Jersey
"balls to the wall" -MIck



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