For The Week Of 04/19/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A Scotsman walks into his bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache." The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, Not a cow." The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

SITES OF THE WEEK
The -Striptease!
The Many Faces -Alan Rickman!
How A Sandwich Makes You It's -Bitch!
The Super Sexy -70s Ads!
Finally Another Use For -Binderclips!
Starlight 2 -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Make Your Boss Adore You.

Tip #1: Focus on getting the job done right, on schedule, and only work late when you really have to. While you may think that by staying late into the evening you're impressing your boss, you could actually be tarnishing your image. When your boss sees you working late or hears you talking about your long hours on the job, he may begin to wonder why you can't get the job done during your regular work hours. Worse yet, he may begin looking at you as "self-serving." Believe it or not, your boss wants you to be happy. A happy employee is a loyal employee, who is more prone to produce better work. And a happy employee is one who isn't forced to work day and night.

Tip #2: Remember that your boss is a living, breathing person who has a pulse, and probably a family. In other words, bosses are mere mortals just like you. They too have supervisors they need to answer to, and sometimes can get overwhelmed. If you can recognize that your boss may need help from time to time, and you have the ability to offer it, you will definitely notice an improvement in your relationship. The key is to know when to offer help. You don't want your boss thinking you're trying to muscle your way into her position, so play it smart and offer the help when you can tell she needs it most. Sometimes, the smallest gesture (or lack of it) can make a dramatic difference come performance review time.

Tip #3: Just like on the Reality TV show, "Project Runway," in the workplace you're either in or you're out. In a '90s "Harvard Business Review," it was discovered that within 5 days of meeting, a supervisor will sort employees into two categories: those who are in and those who are out. Needless to say, the "ins" typically receive the accolades and promotions. The "outs" will toil endlessly and remain static. If you are currently in the "outs," you need to fix the problem--fast! Since your supervisor won't be calling to discuss the issue with you, you need to be proactive and ask to schedule a meeting with him. Talk out your issues and show why you believe you have been mislabeled. Just like when two kids duke it out on the playground, afterward, the two of you will have a new-found respect for each other.

Tip #4: Don't make false promises or sugarcoat things. When your boss asks you a question, give her the facts, even when you know it's not what she wants to hear. An employee who is honest and truthful in every situation, is an employee who will not likely get fired before employees who act otherwise. Give it to her straight; don't allow personal feelings about other employees to interfere and don't walk on glass around your boss' feelings. Your boss knows that the truth is what's best for the company, and she'll appreciate your honesty.

Tip #5: Treat your boss like he has all the answers (although you may think you know more about your job than your boss, and in some cases you probably do). Many supervisors like being asked to help solve a particularly difficult dilemma. It boosts their ego to know that only they have the insight to come up with the solution. After all, that's WHY they're the boss! Just be careful not to overdo it. If you go to your boss for help with every problem under the sun, you will begin to look like an employee who can't handle his responsibilities. Do your job and ask your boss for help with a difficult problem every once in a while. It shows that you are willing to learn and that you aren't afraid to ask for help from those who "know more" than you do.

Tip #6: Provide relevant information in the format your boss can absorb best. For some, it may be via the printed page, and for others it may be through an email. Some may comprehend the information better through a face-to-face meeting. It may take some time to figure out which avenue your boss prefers her information, but once you know, be sure to use it. And don't be afraid of providing too much information. For most bosses, they can never receive too much information

Tip #7: Be proactive in your own opportunity for advancement. Take initiative and ask for more responsibility (if you can handle it). Remember, your boss doesn't want to hear false promises. But, if you can manage more responsibility or you want to take a stab at a higher profile job task, ask for it. If you can prove yourself, you'll be making great strides toward a future promotion--and you'll be showing your boss just how valuable you really are.

Tip #8: Be cordial to everyone at work, share a smile and be positive. Nothing can bring a workplace atmosphere down to the ground like a negative person. Nobody wants to hear someone complain all day and nobody wants to look at your scowl all day either. A happy worker makes the workplace a happier environment--and your boss will definitely like having you around.

Tip #9: Dress for success. One way is to dress in a similar manner as your boss. If your boss wears a nicely tailored suit to each board meeting, you should do the same. It builds an instant camaraderie. Just don't try to overshadow your boss by wearing a more expensive suit or clone his look down to the socks! That will definitely work against you. Besides, those socks may have been the only clean ones he could find, and would never be caught dead in them otherwise.

Tip #10: Socialize with your boss, but know your limits. You can initiate an offer by saying to your boss, "Hey, a bunch of us are going to such-and-such for lunch, care to join us?" This will tell the boss that you enjoy her company on a personal level and that you wish to include her in your inner-circle. However, if you should come across your boss during off-work hours, it's best to keep your meeting polite, but brief. You don't want to come across as overbearing. Employees who are "too friendly" with their boss are always looked upon negatively by their coworkers and in the eyes of their boss, may appear overeager.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Nick.

Hi Tina, My penis is curved which kind of worries me since a lot of the porn videos show men with straight penis'. Is this normal?

A:
Dear Nick, It is quite normal for a man's penis to curve or lean slightly to the right or the left when erect. Many men's penises will curve upwards too. However, if the penis suddenly develops a lump which causes it to bend abnormally, it should probably be checked by a doctor. It may be a sign of a condition called Peyronie's disease, which isn't life threatening, but may be uncomfortable and require treatment. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

90 Foot Rubber Band Nutshot!
 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Thousands of shoppers unknowingly signed their souls over to a computer-game store after failing to read the terms and conditions on their website. GameStation added the "immortal soul clause" to online purchases earlier this month stating customers granted them the right to claim their soul. While all shoppers during the test were given a simple tick box option to opt out, very few did this, which would have also rewarded them with a £5 voucher. The store claims this shows 88 percent of people do not read the terms and conditions of a website before they make a purchase. Bosses also say they will not be enforcing their rights and will now email customers nullifying any claim on their soul.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T! Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

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"-Lorena Bobbit teams up with Willy Wonka for their newest buisness venture, the "Everlasting Nob-Stopper"- Sean
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"Now there's a couple of all day suckers and they've got a couple of Popsicles too!" -Rick



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