For The Week Of 04/23/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Earth Day -Footprints
Mother And Sun -Sad And Uplifting
They Didnt Study -Funny!
Kurt Vonnegut -Thank You!
Sex-Ten Things You Did Not Know!
EveryBody Panic-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Free Golf!
Have you ever started a game of golf and had the urge to keep going b/c you are playing great like Garcia, or wanting to improve your game as you play like Tiger but don't want to pay another +$60? Now you can! After you have completed your round, be it 9 or 18 you pull the classic, "Have you seen my club?" routine. As you clean your bag on 18, you notice that a club is missing so you frantically do the course in reverse asking other golfers if they have seen your Left handed Taylor Made pitching wedge. You continue this until you get to a lul in action or to the #2 green(Only to bipass the old, cranky starter on #1) It works every time, best time to do it is in the summer during dusk hours when there is noone on the course when the pace is fast and its cheap as a whistle to get the initial round in. It has worked everytime, except when someone did find a pitching wedge, yet since then I have made it the chances harder to find an actual club(hint the lefty status of the club) Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by G
Hi, I've been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now and we really share many things besides the obvious feelings we have for each other. We are making plans for a not so far future including house, marriage among these but thereís this tiny thing that bothers me... we don't have any intimacy at all. In a period of 10 months we have only been together sexually three times, on a time lap of maybe one time in every I donít remember how many months. I've told her itís an important part of a relationship (of every relationship in fact) and itís not like I would like to make love to her every day but at least every now and then each month. She says she doesnít consider sex to be important in a relationship and even NOT NEEDED! This is what makes me wonder if it is I who is wrong for thinking we should share a bit more time intimately or... maybe itís the fact sheís 24 and Iím 28 but on the last talk we had she says itís just that she doesnít want to make the same mistakes sheís committed in past relationships but I told her that love is like business: If you want to build a strong productive company, you have to give it all youíve got no matter what and I think love is that way. Yes you can fall now and then but you have to learn from those mistakes and not shut out or make the new / other person pay for those previous mistakes. I canít even initiate a sexual / romantic proposal because she doesnít like it, and says that I need to wait for her to give it to me by herself but I think that a term of 10 months is kinda a bit too long. What do you guys think?

A:

You make me curious, Giovanni. At first I thought, ďThis man is a poet.Ē Your question reminded me of something a young Edgar Allan Poe would craft: Detailed yet vague. Rambling yet to the point. But then, youíre all business. And then I think, maybe businessmen are poets. With pinstripes instead of petticoats, and PDAís instead of fountain pens. And then I wonder, "Hmm...Am I still high from the weekend?Ē I will try to make this short since your question took up a shitload of lines on this page (and I wouldnít dare cut it, Gio). If youíve been dating for 10 months and youíve only had sex three times, you should probably get out of the relationship. The first year of a relationship (especially at your age) should have you fucking like rabbits every chance you get. I even think you should be doing it as much as you can 10 years into the relationship. Without sex, things just donít work as well. If something else happened to her that is making her not want to have sex (abuse, rape, etc.) then I would advise her to seek some therapy. Because itís not normal to not want to have sex. Itís just not. With that, I leave you with a few lines written by none other than Edgar himself. Read them, and then run my sweet prince. Run.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Pay The Rent!

 
 



Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MUMBAI (Reuters) - Indian teachers sprinkled cow urine on low-caste students to purify them and drive away evil, reports said on Saturday, in a country where millions of people remain oppressed at the bottom of the ancient Hindu caste system. Upper-caste headteacher Sharad Kaithade ordered the ritual after taking over from a lower-caste predecessor at a school in a remote village in the western state of Maharashtra earlier this month, the Times of India reported. He told an upper-caste colleague to spray cow urine in a cleansing ceremony as the students were taking an examination, wetting their faces and their answer sheets, the newspaper said. "She said you'll study well after getting purified," student Rajat Washnik was quoted as saying by the CNN-IBN news channel. Students said they felt humiliated. Hinduism reveres the cow, and its dung is used in the countryside as both a disinfectant and as fuel. In 2001, Hindu nationalists promoted cow's urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer. The newspaper said the two teachers were arrested after angry parents complained to police. They have been released on bail. India's secular constitution bans caste discrimination, but Dalits -- those at the bottom of the caste system -- are still commonly beaten or killed for using a well or worshipping at a temple reserved for upper castes, especially in rural areas. Dalits, once known as "untouchables", make up around 160 million of India's billion-plus population. In February, the New York-based Human Rights Watch group said India is failing to protect its lower-caste citizens, who were condemned to a lifetime of abuse because of their social status.
 
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"Get your other hand over here. It takes two hands to handle the Whopper."-Blackie
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"The burger King + Ronald McDonald = Wendy's"-Lenny
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