For The Week Of 04/26/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud. She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before. She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure. She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400 pound, 6'8" hairy biker- looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry. Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?" The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Fatkins Diet -Hilarious!
The Day After Tommorrow -Cool Movie-Check Out The Trailer!
Human Beatbox! -Micheal Winslow From Police Academy
Vhmet -Join This Organization!
Kubrick -Good Read?
Yeti's Back -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Registrar's Office!
Want to get into an upper-level class, but lack the prereq necessary to make it past the academic bouncers? Simply go to department head with an “Add Class” slip. You’ll be asked what your major is, at which time you’ll tell him or her that your major is completely the opposite of the class in question. For example, if you’re a biology major and need a certain bio class and said class is required for your major, then tell the department head you’re an art major and the class is an elective. Confusing? Welcome to college. The department head will most likely sign off, with little reason to confirm your records. I saved myself about three semesters’ worth of time doing this. Yet, somehow, I’m still unemployed.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Paris
Recently, I've been getting so unbelievably wet during sex that we have to stop and actually dry off! It's gross. Help!

A:
Despite your qualms, lubrication is essential for enjoyable sex. Not only does it ease penetration, allowing your man to thrust more vigorously, it boosts your below-the-belt sensitivity, increasing your chances for a mind-blowing orgasm. Vaginal wetness varies from woman to woman and from one sexual encounter to the next. There are several possible reasons your lube level has increased. If you've recently started or stopped using the birth control pill, or switched to a new one, hormonal fluctuations could be the cause. Your degree of wetness can also be dictated by the different stages of your menstrual cycle. Many women produce more fluid during ovulation. But, most likely, you're becoming so lubed because you're superaroused, and that's nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, your guy is probably patting himself on the back for knowing how to push all of your buttons in bed. If, however, you're getting so wet that your partner's penis slips out of you, or if you're not feeling enough friction during sex, have him wear a condom. If he already does use rubbers, suggest a textured one to increase sensation.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Oink Like A Piggy!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "grape.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "grape.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend. Ilarie Coroiu was taken to hospital in the Transylvanian town of Cluj after his girlfriend, Magdalena, 18, "felt something strange" and noticed that the bed was covered in blood. Dr Angela Domocos, head of the accident and emergency department at Cluj General Hospital, said: "It is very rare for this to happen. We call it an exploded penis because it happens when the blood cavities in the penis burst. "I don't know what this couple were playing at, but there must have been tremendous pressure inside the penis to make this happen." Mr Coroiu is now recovering after an operation to stop the bleeding.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"That's what I call nursing your beer"-Tom
Runners-up
"Home brewing made easy!"-CJ
"a couple of beers with Rosie O"-Brick



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