For The Week Of 04/29/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned, took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a sign on their car again. This time it read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Here Is -Today
CRAPCHA -Phony Capchas
The World's -Best Boobs 2013
Animal-Based -Sex Positions
Beer Mapper -Preferred Beers
Quantum Corps -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Nextly Flips Through Websites Like TV Channels

If RSS stresses you out, or you're just looking for a new way to follow sites in the wake of Google Reader's demise, Nextly offers a more casual, TV-like interface to flip through all of the articles on your favorite sites.

Nextly could best be compared to a less pretty, but more efficient version of Flipboard. Once you log in to Nextly, you can browse through the posts and links that your friends have shared on Facebook and Twitter by tapping the right arrow key. Nextly also offers a ton of websites (including this one) from a variety of categories, and allows you to scroll through all of their articles with the same interface. Like RSS, you can scroll through every article posted to the sites, but by forgoing an unread count, I find the reading experience much more relaxing. Full article pages load up seemingly instantly with each tap of the right arrow key, so you can sift through a ton of content quickly until you find something you want to read. Nextly isn't without its flaws though. Most notably, you can't add your own favorite sites, so this isn't going to completely replace your newsreader. However, it will load up articles linked in your Twitter feed, so you could make a Twitter list with sites that aren't included by default in Nextly. The service is also web-only for now, so it's a desktop-only experience.

Despite these limitations, Nextly is a cool take on what a post-Google Reader world could look like, and worth checking out if you're jumping off the RSS train.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Deadeye94

"Should i tell my girlfriend that i have a foot fetish before we have our first sexual encounter?"

A:

"I don't see why not; it's who you are, and people may tell you to work up to that, but it's not abnormal - it's normal for you. Let your freak flag fly."

-Anti

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

The Ultimate Mascot Fail Compilation


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
HILAND PARK, FL -- Officials with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) want to know if a 30-pound black and white lizard shows up in your yard. The Argentine lizard species “tegu” has found refuge in the Cedar Grove area, and the FWC is asking residents’ help in locating them. FWC staff captured 33 Argentine tegus this week in the area off East Avenue north of 15th Street. Most of the reptiles captured measured 3 to 4 feet in length and weighed up to 30 pounds. FWC investigator Jerry Shores said the lizards appeared in the area after a previous resident who was licensed to sell tegus left town and abandoned them, an action that has prompted a criminal investigation. Shores said most of the exotic lizards were captured within a fenced-in yard. However, some tegus have been reported by area residents a block or so away, FWC said. Residents called FWC after discovering the lizards. “During the investigation, the current residents have been nothing but helpful,” Shores said. He advised residents to not try to capture the lizards themselves. FWC said the lizards are not normally aggressive, but they have sharp teeth and claws and strong jaws to defend themselves. Anyone who spots a tegu is asked to call the exotic species hotline at 888-IveGot1 (888-483-4681) or report it online at IveGot1.org. The FWC also is asking residents for photos and to note the location if possible. The tegu is native to areas of Brazil, Paraguay, Uruguay and Argentina, but can also easily establish itself in Florida’s subtropical climate. A tegu’s diet includes everything from fruits and vegetables to rodents and other small animals.

Kristin Sommers, exotic species coordination section leader at the FWC, said tegus will compete with native wildlife and staff will be making routine visits to the neighborhood in the coming week to ensure capture. Because releasing nonnative species is harmful to native wildlife, Sommers encourages anyone who has an exotic pet they no longer want to contact the FWC or participate in Exotic Pet Amnesty Days, where owners can submit their unwanted pet for adoption with no penalty.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Of course this is when I run outta gas...fuck..." -Bronson

Runner-up
"I learned this easy technique in Trimming Hedges 101." -Nikkala



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