For The Week Of 04/30/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Go Climb -A Rock!
Really Ghetto -So Cheap!
Fuck You -Brocooli!
Girls -On Instagram!
Real Estate Agent -Headshots!
Pretentious -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Onion Browser is an Encrypted Mobile Browser for iOS

iOS: Private browsing isn't too difficult on a desktop computer, but keeping your web travels anonymous on an iPhone is a bit more difficult. If you want to hide your every move, Onion Browser is an app that uses Tor proxy servers to hide your activities from ISPs, other Wi-FI connections, and more.

We've talked about ways to Tor in Chrome and Firefox before, and Onion Browser uses the same basic premise. It tunnels your browsing through a Tor proxy server so websites don't see your IP address and it encrypts all of your information before it leaves your device. Loading pages in Onion Browser takes a lot longer than normal, but you'll be completely anonymous when you're doing it. Onion Browser is a 99¢ download for iPhone and iPad.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Holmes

With my past girlfriends, I aome easily, like 5-10 minutes into grinding and pumping (taking into consideration change of sexual positions). Now that I've been single for more than four years already, my sexual life consisted mainly of masturbating. Recently, my sex life got revived (with 3 different girls), and now I usually last more than half an hour.
My last one lasted 1 hour. She said it was good, but also painful. I know it's because my dick got so used to my tight hand grip that now it doesn't recognize a vagina when it feels one. Now the question is, which will most women like? My old stamina (5 -10 mins.), or my new pornstar stamina
(30 mins. to an hour)?

A:
To be honest, somewhere between 20-25 mins., in my experience. Shorter = disappointed partner, longer = painful/sore partner.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Papman


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BREMERTON, WA. -- A "polite" but absent-minded burglar got quite the surprise when he broke into a home early Tuesday morning only to find the homeowner was not only there, but armed with a gun. The homeowners got quite the surprise when the burglar called back later that day, offering to bring back some of the items he stole for items he left behind, police said. Bremerton officers were called to the home on Pitt Avenue around 3 a.m. for a report of a burglary in progress, said Sgt. Kevin Crane with Bremerton Police. The homeowners told officers they were awakened at the sound of someone inside the home. The homeowner grabbed a gun and yelled "Get out! I have a gun!" to which the burglar replied "Yes, sir!" and ran away, Crane said. The burglar was gone by the time officers arrived and Crane said a police dog failed to catch the scent. However, the homeowners found that the burglar, in his hasty exit, had left behind a bag of items, including papers that identified the burglar. Later that afternoon, the burglar called the victims, asking to trade the items he had taken from the home for items he left behind as long as they didn't call police. He returned to make deal go through, but officers were there waiting and arrested him for investigation of residential burglary, Crane said. "It's very unusual," Crane said. "I've never seen this happen before where a burglar contacts the victim trying to make a deal to exchange things he left behind for some of the items he stole from the victims."

Crane said the burglar remained polite through the ordeal, even apologizing to the homeowners as he was being arrested.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

If you win you get a free Sublime Tee!
Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"I'm an undercover agent! You got the wrong animal-head!" -Bronson

Runner-up
"Your horseplay days are over, Animal Boy." -Becca



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