For The Week Of 05/01/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A local charity office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director called him, hoping to get a contribution.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you've given not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the director mumbled, "Um…no."

"Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken director began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted. " Or that my sister's husband died in a car accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated director said simply, "I had no idea…"

"So if I don't give any money to them, why the hell would I give any to you?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ariel Views -Eye Candy
Spy Equipment -intresting
Tetris Grand Master -Dammnnn
Stop Cutting Yourself-How To Guide
Reaction Time -Flash
Base Jump! -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Title Loan!
Can't get anyone to take your 124,000-mile Hyundai off your hands? (But they're highway miles!) Head down to the title loan store, wait in line behind the degenerates trying to feed their Twinkies and Fresca addictions by getting another $75 loan on their El Caminos, and get the largest possible loan for your car. Once you turn in your title and get your check, toss your keys on the table, say, "Enjoy the car," and walk out. Hopefully you were smart enough to get your friend to follow you in his car to the loan store—otherwise, you have a long walk home.
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Roger
I’ve heard that in order to make sex last longer, the guy must pull out before he comes, wait for a minute or so, and then start again. That’s all fine and good, but how I can do this without the girl knowing that’s what I’m trying to do?
A:
Distract her with subterfuge, dude. The next time you pull out to avoid blowing off, don’t just lie there counting, “one, big elephant; two, big elephant…” Dive down and make yourself useful. Once you place your kisser on her, your gal will likely be too preoccupied to ponder your motivation. If she does ask, a simple, “I couldn’t stop thinking about it, baby,” ought to suffice. And, you know, you don’t have to de-sheath your sword entirely in order to stave off the big O. Just stop moving for a minute. Again, act as though you were too distracted by her luscious lips (the ones on her face) and lay a big kiss on her. In fact, there’s no need to pretend; you should really mean it. You can also last a little longer if you relax and minimize tension in your butt and pelvic muscles. Yes, I know, those puppies are your thrusters; so go for the non-thrusting positions. Roll onto your back and do your own remake of Woman on Top.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Ski Fall
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "skifall.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.asx" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DYERSBURG, Tenn. - A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Red Bull energy drinks seemingly grew wings. A truck driver reported last weekend that his 53-foot trailer containing 2,880 cases of the energy drink was stolen. Geoffrey Winchester said he parked the truck on Old Highway 51. According to the Dyer County Sheriff's Department, another truck must have pulled the trailer away from the truck and hauled off the load Sunday. The truck's window had been broken and its satellite tracking system disabled, making the thief's flight untraceable. In its commercials, Red Bull claims that it "gives you wings!" A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces also was stolen in Dyersburg on Monday, authorities said. The trailer was recovered by police in Ohio Monday night, but all the sauce was gone.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"What Lucy Lawless is really like on the set.!"-Carter
Runners-up
"Give me your Miller, your Coors, I am your huddled mass yearning for FREE BEER!!"-Carter
"For the honor of greyskull.. I have the power!!"-Dazzler
"Who wants to drink me pretty?!"-Gary
"Welcome to Thunderdome Biach!!"-Dr
"Okay, what freak pissed in my beer?!"-Jack



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |





[ back to sublime main ]