For The Week Of 05/03/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Español?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y' know, maybe we should learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

What You Are -You Are A Foxy lady That Loves To Philosphy With Lesbians!
E-Admit -Admit Your Secrets!
Google! -Personalize It
Sexual Positions -Try Them Out!
Online Palm Reading -WTF?
Wrath -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Free Beer!
Next time you pick up a case of beer—after having a few, of course—look on the box for the customer service hotline. Call the number and tell the representative that you bought a case of beer and that it tastes sour. After reading off several serial numbers, they will send you a coupon for a case of beer. Just don’t try the same company more than once in a year.
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Q: submited by F
The other night I woke up at 5am to my boyfriend masturbating in bed next to me. I pretended I was still asleep. I can understand why he would do it when I'm not there, but why would he touch himself when he could have had more fun with me? I'm upset and have been thinking about saying something to him, but I don't know how to handle the situation.

Try not to take it personally -- I'm sure your boyfriend loves having sex with you, and masturbation can never replace that. But it's perfectly normal for guys to get themselves off on a regular basis, even when they're in a happy relationship. It's likely that his solo session was spontaneous and not something he did to hurt you. Perhaps he was inspired by a sexy dream and didn't want to wake you. Maybe he woke up with a hard-on -- guys get erections repeatedly throughout the night -- and decided to take matters into his own hands. Or he could have been excited by the possibility that you might catch him in the act and finish him off. Since it's bothering you and you seem to want an explanation, speak up! In a casual tone, tell him that you awoke while he was touching himself and that you were taken off-guard and thought it was best to pretend you were asleep. But if you're both satisfied with your overall sex life, your man's masturbation shouldn't be a cause for concern. It's just something guys do.


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James Brown!

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Lame Excuses: In Los Angeles in February, Michael Marks, 25, raising an insanity defense to attempted murder, said he was drug-crazed at the time of the crime because someone on a balcony above him had spilled PCP on top of his head and that it must have affected his thinking. (He was convicted.) And Michael Cammarota, 57, asked a judge in New York City in February not to imprison him for engineering a multi-victim investment fraud but rather to send him to a mental institution because he needs help with what he called his "addiction" to "money." (He got four to 12 years.) [KNBC-TV-AP, 2-24-04] [New York Post, 2-4-04]

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