For The Week Of 05/03/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
WTFShouldIMakeFor -Dinner!
Jersey Shore:Tan selection -Chart!
The Perfect Camera -Face!
Board Games That Shouldnt Never Be -Movies!
Top 10 New Cult -Movies!
Super Mario Bros. Crossover -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Overcome Shyness With Small Talk.

Tip #1: Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.

Tip #2: Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.

Tip #3: Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.

Tip #4: Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.

Tip #5: Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.

Tip #6: Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the better.

Tip #7: Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play paintball. Go out on an adventure. Paint something. Watch more porn. Try something new every day.

Tip #8: Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.

Tip #9: Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Carrie.

Hi Tina, Im currently married and having an affair. The problem is that the person Im having an affair with can't make me orgasm. At all. But when I make love to my husband I usually have around one or two orgasms. Im so confused, I love both men but only my husband can make me orgasm. Why is that?

A:
Dear Carrie, Im going to tell you this with love, The reason you cant orgasm with your "other man" is because, he sucks. Plain and simple. People cheat for many reasons but its always because their partner is lacking in one department so they try to find it in someone else. Why bother being married if youre going to cheat to be honest. Tell your husband and maybe the guilt from your cheating ways will take away the pressure from not orgasming with your other guy. Maybe youre husband is willing to be in an open relationship? The thing here is to not cheat. Cant stop? Then dont get married. Why hurt someone, be honest with them and maybe your sex life will get better. Maybe he'll join in too! Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Better Marriage Blanket!
 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Daniel Wayne Staley is fascinated by death – so much so, police say, that he dug up a grave and used a hatchet to cut off the foot of a corpse in a private Jewish cemetery in Pleasant Grove. Police plan to charge Staley, 18, with abuse of a human corpse or grave. He faces up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine in the Class A misdemeanor case. He is being held in the Dallas County Jail on $10,000 bail. "He's infatuated with death and decided to do it," said Sgt. Bruce McDonald, a homicide unit supervisor. "He has some very serious issues and possibly mental problems. He knew what he was doing was wrong." About 12 hours later, Staley approached police officers and told them that he had a human foot in his bag. Police said he pulled the foot out of the bag and showed it to the officers about 3:30 a.m. Friday, telling them that he dug it up from a nearby grave and took the foot from a "Jew girl." Police found a small hatchet and fragments from the foot in the bag. Staley then led officers to the Tiferet Israel Agudas Achim Cemetery on Buckner Boulevard near Scyene Road. He showed them the grave he had dug up. He was then arrested. Police found a shovel thought to have been used to dig up the grave. They also searched the woods behind the cemetery, looking for more body parts. A rabbi also came to the cemetery to check out the grave. Police believe the foot came from the grave of Leibe Vener, who died in 1941. McDonald of the homicide unit said Staley didn't take the foot because the corpse was that of a Jewish person. "I think it was a spur-of-the-moment deal," he said. "He just decided to do it." McDonald said officials are trying to reach Vener's family. "My detective was working through the contacts with the cemetery just to let them know that this happened," he said.
 
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