For The Week Of 05/04/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Little Johnny wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parent’s room. Finally, one morning he says to his mom, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him.” His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh…well…ah…well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again.” The boy responds, “That won`t work!” His mom says, “Why not?” The boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up!

SITES OF THE WEEK
100 Photos -Of Eva!
Things We Learned -From Kenny Powers!
8 Awesome -Implants!
How Much -Sugar!
Useless -Abilities!
Foxy Sniper!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Delay an Orgasm
Step 1: Get a sensual massage before sex begins. Getting a massage will help relax you considerably and make premature ejaculation less of an issue. Step 2 Slow down or stop and become very still if you feel yourself about to orgasm early. Stopping or slowing down the motion that is creating the orgasm before it begins will allow you time to relax again and let the moment pass. Step 3 Breathe slowly and deeply. If you feel like you're about to orgasm early and you want to delay it then take slow deep breaths. This will have the effect of calming you down and allows you to get control of your bottom before the orgasm begins. Step 4 Switch positions. There are positions that are better suited to someone who ejaculates early. By switching to one of these positions it will help you last longer and learn the control necessary to delay orgasm. Sexinfo101.com has a list of positions that are suited for slowing down an orgasm. Step 5 Squeeze the glans at the top of the penis. If you feel yourself about to orgasm early you and your partner can squeeze the smooth, big head at the top of the penis to delay it. Squeeze it firmly until the urge to orgasm passes. Step 6 Press the perineum, which is the area between the anus and the scrotum, with your first three fingers. Either you or your partner can press on the area until the urge to orgasm passes.Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Doug

I'm an 18-year-old male, I’m very healthy, and I stay in shape. I'm very confident about myself, but when it comes to foreplay and intimate kissing my penis is up and ready to go. Is this a natural thing? It's sort of embarrassing to be making out with a female and have my partner poking her in the leg. Could you tell me what’s going on?

A:
Dear Doug, It sounds to me like the only problem you have is that you’ve never received a lesson on the birds and the bees. So, here’s a quick rundown: Your penis becomes erect while kissing and touching a woman because it’s supposed to. You’re partaking in an activity called “foreplay” -- an interlude to sex through which your body prepares for intercourse. In other words, you shouldn’t be embarrassed that your “member” is poking her leg. In fact, she’d probably be insulted if it didn’t.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Fire Alarm Jam Session
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Man taking a pee in his front yard waved his penis at the woman living next door then sprayed her car with urine during a neighbourhood row at White Rock, Cairns. Father of four Stephen Charles Smart, 42, who pleaded guilty to wilful exposure in Cairns Magistrates' Court recently, also asked the neighbour if she "wanted a piece of this". But Smart's lawyer Tom Eckersley said to put the incident that occurred just on dark on March 24 last year "in context", there had been an ongoing feud between the neighbours for some time during which his client's roof had been rocked and stones thrown at his dog. He said Smart, a truck-driver who was recently laid off because of the economic downturn, had been having a barbecue in his front yard in Malibu Close and had gone to urinate against his own front fence when he called out to the neighbour, thinking he was semi-shielded. But Mr Eckersley said the woman had walked further down her driveway than he thought and was able to see him clearly. "He is extremely apologetic ... he realises it was inappropriate," he said. Magistrate Suzette Coates, who released Smart on a six-month good behaviour bond and did not record a conviction, said such incidents should not happen between two grown adults.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T! Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Imagine my disappointment ..... It said on craigslist to leave my shoes at the door and come pet my little pussy...." -GHT
Runners-up
"It’s never a bad idea to take some time to play with you pussy." -Matt



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