For The Week Of 05/04/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist. “I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.” The man below replies, “You must work in management.” “I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?” “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Eros -Erotic Mag
The Bus -Trippy Strip
Actresses -Bare Butts
Shotgun Honey -Short Stories
Happiest Countries -Worldwide
Here's Evil Cupido -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Easy Copy Automatically Sends Text You Copy to Other Apps

Android: Copying text on your phone is already a bit of a pain, but bouncing back and forth between apps just to make a call is an even bigger hassle. Easy Copy helps fix this by letting you launch actions on your text like making a phone call or searching for an address.

The app is invoked any time you copy text. Just select text like normal, hit the Copy button, and Easy Copy will appear like an actually-useful Clippy. You can then choose to send that text to several pre-set apps like Translate, Maps, your SMS app, or Google. Or you can invoke the Share menu, which has even more options. Chances are good that when you copied that text, you wanted to do something with it. Easy Copy just skips the app-switching step.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Lumberit

"I am enaged to a wonderful woman, 2nd marriage for both of us. Sex is great, fanatastic, other than, and yes here it comes, getting a blow job from her is like winning the lotto. It just doesnt happen. I love going down on her, and I do it everyime to where she orgasms. IF I get a BJ, I cannot cum in her mouth or anywhere on her. I have to finish myself off, but this is maybe once every other month. My birthday just passed. All I really wanted was a BJ, and I told her that, she spent $300 on a gold necklace rather than blow me. When she does it is is amazing. How do I increase the frequency of these? I kmow this is an age old question. I have remained fathful, we are 3 years into the relationship. Just bought her an $8000 ring. I would just love a BJ!!!"

A:

"guys yall dont clean cock enuff and yall always try push deaper then wanted and try having warm goo shot in tje back of your tjroat that upset your stomach it not the best experemce;ost the time. clean it dont push and let us control it"

-Itfeelsweird

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Parking Problems


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, VA -- A man held on a drug charge may have fled the state, and possibly the country, after he put his court-ordered GPS tracking device on a cat and vanished. Federal court papers revealed Diego Martinez-Espinoza is a Mexican national and was in the United States illegally. After his arrest on a drug charge, Espinoza was ordered to wear a GPS device. Now investigators believe he took it off and placed it on his cat. That cat likely spent a few annoying days of hearing the bracelet’s chirp, which would be followed by orders to make a phone call. When it appears the device has been tampered with, the GPS tells the suspect to call police. “We call them and physically make them come in so we can look at it,” Henrico Sgt. Rick Garrison said. Espinoza was arrested in Chesterfield for trying to manufacture, sell, give or distribute more than 10 kilograms of cocaine hydrochloride by concealing it in the drum of a dryer. He was ordered by the judge to follow the rules on the GPS device. He was supposed to go on trial May 6. “The courts may order bond with GPS or GPS home incarceration,” Garrison, who explained how the devices work since no one from Chesterfield was available to do so, said. “We also place them on our work-release inmates.”

In February, authorities monitoring Espinoza saw he was traveling south. Court documents revealed a “strap tamper” alert was sent out. After authorities called Espinoza about the tamper alert, he texted back an image of himself wearing the device. It happened several times according to DEA documents. The unit was eventually replaced, but then went silent on March 1. When a landlord entered Espinoza’s apartment on Buffalo Road in Highland Springs, Espinoza was gone. But a cat was there, and wearing the GPS bracelet. The US marshals are now involved in the search for Espinoza. He’s known to have contacts in North Carolina. If you know where he is, call 1-877-WANTED-2.
 
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"And the scene is titled: 'Ping-Pong with My Ding-Dong"-Rich

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