For The Week Of 05/06/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Two Chips -A Tragedy
Edwin Drood -Bustle Fluffah
Rest in Peace -Jeff Hanneman
The Cast of "Kids" -Revisited
How To -Land an Airplane
Persist -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Window on Top Locks Windows to the Top of Your Screen

Windows: Sometimes, you just want to keep a certain window visible on your screen at all times, without losing it behind your other applications. Nothing makes this easier than on Windows than Window On Top. Window On Top is really just a packaged global hotkey for Windows. Once it's running and you see the icon in your system tray, just hit Control+T to lock your currently-selected window to the top level of your screen. Now, even if you focus on another window, this application will always stay on top. To unlock it, just select it again and use the same shortcut. It's as simple as it gets, but sometimes that's all you need. If however, this is not all you need, be sure to check out Moo0, which offers more functionality like window transparency, at the expense of sheer speed and simplicity.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Johnnie

"This is something I'm interested in, but I'm afraid I might injure my spine if I attempt it! Any advice?"

A:

"Well, first off you have to be skinny. It will most likely be impossible to bend like that if you have a gut. As far as getting yourself into that position, you should just copy what the guys do in those "self-suck" videos."

-Nikki

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Do a Tire Roll


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
PORTLAND, OR -- A man who was arrested after trying to steal a case of beer was found with a mouse in his pocket in the Washington County Jail, according to deputies. Deputies say 20-year-old John Jacobson of Portland took a case of beer as it was being unloaded at the Plaid Pantry at 14140 SW Butner Rd. in Cedar Hills. However, the beer distributor saw Jacobson snag the beer and chased after him, according to Sergeant Bob Ray with the Washington County Sheriff’s Office. Jacobson then threw the case of beer, hitting the distributor in the face, before running into the nearby Nike campus, Ray said. Deputies with a K-9 unit swarmed to the area and found Jacobson hiding in some bushes on Nike’s property. Jacobson was charged with robbery and theft and taken to the Washington County Jail. That's where deputies found the mouse in his pocket while he was getting booked. What's more, authorities say after the suspect was arrested, his father had to go down to the jail and claim the mouse. Deputies suspect Jacobson in another beer theft earlier in the day. No one was hurt during that confrontation.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"HALT! No Pall Malls allowed in this sector." -Biff

Runner-up
"Whatever dude...now I look more badass walkin away." -Shaun



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