For The Week Of 05/08/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper’s temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Daniel Rozin -Eye Candy
Paper Trail -Sad
Tank Chair -WOW
Shock Knife-Great Tool
Sand castles -Competition
Tangram! -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Speeding Tickets!
Always keep a new garden hose in the backseat of your car. When a cop pulls you over for going 74 in a 35, tell him that you have to get home quickly because your water heater burst and is flooding your basement. Show him the hose to "prove" you just left the Home Depot instead of the two-for-one night at Déjà Vu.
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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Frank
A close buddy of mine is finished with his wife. He cheated on her, and then she cheated back after he denied it for about a year. His ex-wife and I talk a lot now; she tells me everything, from her current sex life and how it sucks, to how she thinks I’m “cute,” to what her plans are for the day. She also recently invited me for dinner and a movie. Is she fair game? If so, why was I chosen?
A:
He’s a close buddy, you say? Do you want him to stay that way? Chances are that unless you want to be his ex as well, and possibly the proud owner of a black eye, you’re better off keeping your hands out of his ex-wife’s pants. Dude, this goes beyond the code of honor among men; it’s about being a good friend. No matter what went down between your pal and his wife, you gotta respect the bond they once had and his feelings about it by keeping away. Look, she’s very vulnerable right now and she’s lonely. She’s looking for company and affection, and likely, reassurance that she’s lovable and special. You’re the perfect candidate for many reasons: She already knows you and trusts you, and, frankly, because you’re her husband’s friend, being close to you is a weird way for her to still be close to him by proxy. She’s looking for that continuity of having someone special around she lost when she and your buddy split. I’m not saying you can’t be her friend, but make sure it stays just that. And, above all, make sure your buddy knows about it. Be up front with him and let him know that she needs a friend and you’d like to be that for her, but make sure you really just want to be her friend, not her fuck buddy. If you sneak around, he’s going to wonder what you’re trying to hide, and, even if nothing does happen, that’ll be nothing but trouble.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


SuperMan
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "superman.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.asx" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DES MOINES, Iowa -- Wendy Dershem may think twice before leaving that egg roll on her plate at her next Chinese buffet. The Des Moines woman, her boyfriend and her two children were kicked out of a restaurant last week after management at Dragon House accused her of leaving too much food on her plate. Dershem said she paid for her buffet on Saturday but was abruptly told to leave after eating one plate of food. Employees said they had been watching her family on previous trips to the restaurant and were fed up with her habits. They said she would pile her plate with food, take one bite and throw it away. "They just take one bite and throw it away," said cashier Lin Huyen. "They take four egg rolls and crab ragoon, take one bite of egg roll and throw the whole plate. That is wasting food." Dershem said she was shocked by the scolding and complained to management when she paid her check. Dragon House manager Kent Cao said his restaurant does not offer an all-you-can waste buffet. He said Dershem's family took food, didn't finish it and then piled on the same food again, he said. He says he won't allow her back in the restaurant unless she changes her ways.
 
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This Weeks



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"The Bird Man!"-S
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""This aint no bling, dogg, its WING"-NIck
"Check my wingy-blingy"-Jared
"Nah dog the E&J's over here, this muthafucka is a crunk detecta!"-Rick
"Yo, Braa Eagles gonna win da super bowl"-Sal



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