For The Week Of 05/09/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her, and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her.

What does she look like?" The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27-yrs-old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Etch-a-Sketch -Art???
Bobs Cube -Interactive
Online Newspaper -List
Rock Albums-Rarest And Most Valuable
Gun Fight -At OK High!
Ripley's IQ Game -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Wallets
How long has that condom been in your wallet. Last time you got laid Bush was in charge of the country, Bush Sr. that is. So now you have a huge circle on the wallet. Here is how to take it off. Use your lighter and go over the mark. The leather in the wallet will heat up and then using your fingers just smooth out the circle. Presto, no more condom mark. And for god sakes, replace the condom.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Benji
Is it normal to want to come on my girlfriend's face after sex?
A:

Sure, wanting to come on your girlfriend's face or another part of her body is perfectly normal and is a very common male fantasy. Coming on a woman's face is commonly known as "giving a facial," or if you come on her neck or breasts "giving her a pearl necklace." It's often acted out in porn, and when it's done by a group of guys on one woman, it's called bukkake. Women who are really into semen might really enjoy getting a face full of it. If your girlfriend is up for this, give it a try. You might want to put a towel down first, since it might get messy. Exercise some common courtesy and let her know right before you pop one off. And be sure she closes her eyes before you shoot, because semen in the eyes can sting like hell. Have a hand towel or tissues ready for clean up afterwards. You might also suggest doing it in the shower, so it's quick and easy to wash off. On the other hand, some women find the idea of getting drenched with cum disgusting and degrading. If your girlfriend feels this way, chances are you won't be able to talk her out of it. If she's on the fence, let her know what you'd like to do and see how she responds. Tell her it would be an incredible turn on for you, and talk your way through the scene beforehand, describing to her what you would do and what would happen when you blow your load all over her. Ideally this would get her hot enough that she'll start jacking you off right then and there.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Knock Out
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "ko.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "ko.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
VICTORIA -- The dumping of raw sewage into the Pacific Ocean was an issue one man wanted to take to an all-candidates meeting in the Victoria-Beacon Hill riding Friday morning, but the costumed crusader was not allowed in. James Skwarok arrived dressed up as "Mr. Floatie," a two-metre tall turd representing POOP, People Opposed to Outfall Pollution. He wanted to highlight Victoria's daily dumping of 120 million litres of raw sewage, but when he was barred from the meeting he said the refusal left him "a little bummed out." NDP Leader Carole James, who attended the meeting in the riding she hopes to win in British Columbia's May 17 election, said she grew up in the area and swam in the ocean as a child. She said that sewage needs to be treated and that an NDP government would look at the issue as a priority. But Liberal MLA Jeff Bray said scientists indicate there is no negative impact from the raw sewage. He acknowledged, however, that the practice damages the city's image. Skwaork said B.C. has got to look good for the 2010 Olympics, adding the province doesn't want to get a "brown medal."
 
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This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"You put your left hand in, you pull the left tit out, you do the hokey pokey and you watch her scream and shout."-Dwayne
Runners-up
"Group mammograms" tonight on "America's Whoriest Videos!""-Jack
"Girls come and see what a real boob looks like" -Big-D



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