For The Week Of 05/10/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whorehouse and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said, "No!" He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door! The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Brooke Burke -Gets Wild!
Ah Alarm Clock -Perfect For Morning Wood!
The Shining -In 30 Seconds By Bunnies
Masterbate-a-thon -Play From Home
Pregnant Woman Keychain -WTF/ For The New Mother To Be?
David Chappelle Skateboard -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Discounted Auto Parts!
Next time you need some auto parts, go to napa, and let them know you work for the nearest auto dealer> You will get a nice 30 percent discount. Make sure you pay cash.
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Freddy
Why do women feel threatened by porn?

A:
Many proponents of porn including the porn stars themselves claim that modern pornography liberated women by giving them an arena in which to openly express their sexuality. If this is the case, then why does it render so many women so insecure? Below, I have outlined the main reasons behind such insecurity and what you can do to make your woman feel more at ease with it. Why should you care about how she feels? Look at it this way; if you change her perspective on porn, chances are, she'll be cooler about you watching it. And who knows? She may even start wanting to partake in the fun. In porn movies, the women all look basically the same. They tend to be pretty in an all-American kind of way, and possess the tight little tanned bodies and huge breasts. In short, they are the kind of women that men can't help but find attractive. Outside of the porn industry, however, women don't all look like this. A more average-looking woman may feel insecure about her looks if she believes that you only find the type of women showcased in porn movies sexy. What to do: Reassure her that you find her incredibly sexy. Compliment her on a part of her body that you find sexy, such as her butt or her hips. But remember; actions speak louder than words. So, don't keep your hands to yourself, rather, keep them all over her. If she resists, chase her around the house, until you end up laughing yourselves on to the floor and fooling around. Buy her a sexy negligee and make love to her. The point is to make her feel like you want her -- badly. If she knows that you desire her, she'll be less likely to feel threatened by the women in porn movies.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Ass Hair Remover!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "nads.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "nads.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A 23-year-old man in Hartland, Maine, was hospitalized in March after apparently attempting to commit suicide by crucifying himself. According to an account in the Portland Press Herald, he built a wooden cross, placed it on the floor, and nailed one hand to it. According to the officer, "When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," although the officer said he wasn't sure if the call was for an ambulance or for someone to come help him nail the other hand. [Portland Press-Herald, 3-16-04]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Just Like BBALL, Run, Shoot And Steal"-L
Runners-up
"Just Loot It!"-B
"Lt. Tyrone Johnson show off the new urban camo... whether yer out defending the country or just guarding the hoop.... "-Dog



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