For The Week Of 05/16/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light".

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.

She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh shit, am I driving?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Eye Calculator -Amazing!
Thread Bared -WTF? Hilarious
No Child Sweet Behind -Comedy Central
Space Time Travel-Interesting
The Hobbits Are Gay -Funny
Bust A Move -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Blockbuster
Instead of paying late fees like a chump, just put the late video back on the shelf, so when Blockbuster does inventory they will blame one of their employees for not checking in the tape properly and you can just deny the tape being late. Now if Blockbuster only rented Porn!
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Benji
My boyfriend says that when he eats me out I have a strange taste. I think I might also have a smell. How can I fix this?
A:

Bessie, It's possible that you're having a "feminine hygiene" issue, although this problem has been way blown out of proportion and women have been made paranoid about having smelly genitals. In reality, healthy vaginas have a range of smells and tastes depending on their owners, so if you bathe daily and wash your vulva thoroughly with soap and water, you may not have any problem at all. Before you jump to any conclusions, find out how experienced a muff diver your boyfriend is and whether he is qualified to tell a normal pussy flavor from an abnormal one. Also, keep in mind that the taste of your vagina is affected by what you ingest, so if you smoke, drink coffee and alcohol, and eat a lot of meat, fish, or spicy foods, these flavors will come out in your pussy juice. For sweeter nectar down there, you can try switching to a vegetarian diet and eliminating as many toxic habits as possible. Of course, it is also possible that you may have an infection of some sort. If you have a yeast infection, you would probably be itching in your crotch and having a white chunky vaginal discharge that smelled like baking bread. If you had a bacterial infection, you might have a yellowish or greenish discharge that smelled really nasty, along with vaginal pain or itching. If you're having any of these symptoms, visit your doctor or campus health center and get it checked out.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Sand Storm
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "sand.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "sand.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
LIMA, Peru (Reuters) - A Peruvian woman sank her teeth into the testicles of a man who broke into her property to steal cattle and tried to rape her, leaving doctors no option but to lop one off, police and officials said on Friday. "It looked like a dog bite. The man arrived with his right testicle dead and hanging by a thread ... there was nothing to do but cut it off," said Hugo Jaime, a surgeon in the regional hospital in Huanuco in the Andes northeast of Lima. The incident happened on Monday night in a remote village when Hermogenes Meza and 10 men broke tried to steal Elizabeth Coz's cattle. Coz was not arrested because she acted out of self defence, the officer added. The men ran away when Coz and relatives started stoning them.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Bush and ali babakadoosh Stars next on MTV's new reality show "White House Newlyweds." -Daninja-man> Runners-up
"okay okay gay marriage is now legal"-Phil
"I swear to Allah last night meant everything to me, Now give me Osamah" -Rich



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