For The Week Of 05/18/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier". The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

SITES OF THE WEEK
FHM Top 10 -Sexiest 2009!
Hellen Keller -Simulator!
Top 100 -Comic Book Villains?
10 Sexiest -WWE Divas!
Track -Your Dreams?
Gangsta Mario!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Ejaculate More Semen
Step 1: Do the PC exercise every day. Step 2: Take herbal supplements such as amino acids every day. Recommended amino acids are L-Arginine, L-Lysine and Veromax. Step 3: Quit smoking. Smoking is not good for your sex performance. Nicotine clogs the arteries which will make your erections become smaller in the future and you will have a poor sex drive also. Smoking can make you difficult to sustain the physical exertion demanded by sex and it interferes with the use of zinc by the body, which is plain bad for your sex life. Step 4: Quit drinking. Alcohol and sex do not mix at all. It interferes with the production of your testosterone. Step 5: Avoid obesity.Overweight men cannot sustain the effort needed in sex. So watch your diet carefully. You do not want to spoil everything by consuming food that your body does not even need, nor use.Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Brad

I am uncircumcised and tried having sex for the first time without a condom yesterday, and was wondering: Is the foreskin meant to retract? I found it very uncomfortable, and even painful, and couldn't fully insert my penis into the vagina. Are there ways of overcoming this?

A:
Dear Brad, For many uncircumcised men, the foreskin retracts behind the glans (or the “head” of the penis) during erection. And, like you’ve experienced, sometimes there is pain involved in the process; this is called phimosis. This is a condition in which the foreskin is too tight to properly retract. There are varying degrees of the condition, however. Some men can’t retract their foreskin at all, while others experience painful retraction. Your best bet is going to a urologist for assessment. They will either prescribe you a mild hydrocortisone cream to provide lubrication and reduce inflammation, make a slit on the side of the foreskin to allow easier retraction or recommend a full-fledge circumcision to remove the foreskin and completely cure you of your phimosis.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Hammy The Hamster
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
COLONIE — Twenty-five years after she allegedly passed through a red light, Connie Van Houter is on the verge of losing her license over it. Last week, the Albany woman received a notice from the state Department of Motor Vehicles stating that her license would be suspended for her failure to show up in Colonie Town Court back when Ronald Reagan was president. Van Houter does not recall the ticket dated Feb. 27, 1984. "I'm retired, been retired for five years," she said. "I've had a heart attack and three strokes. I'm supposed to remember a ticket?" Van Houter said she will plead not guilty before the suspension deadline. Workers at Colonie Town Court have been going through old files the past few years and alerting the DMV of any cases where drivers' licenses should have been suspended, said Deputy Court Clerk Nikki Lawyer. "We've been going through old files for a while," she said. "I guess we've hit real old ones." Ken Brown, a spokesman for the state Department of Motor Vehicles, confirmed Van Houter recently had been warned she would be suspended over a 1984 ticket. There is no statute of limitations if you fail to show up in court, he said. "If we're notified by a jurisdiction that they have an outstanding summons, we put it on the record," Brown said. Asked if it was commonplace for communities to ask for suspensions on tickets as old as Van Houter's, he replied: "I would presume it's not regular. It's pretty uncommon." Colonie Town Attorney Michael Maggiuli was unaware the town was behind the DMV notice. He said he never heard of anyone getting a license suspended 25 years after a ticket. His reading of the laws is that a driver could not be cited if two years had elapsed even for failure to appear. "I've never seen one go 25 years," Maggiuli said. A former DMV employee, Van Houter said, "I'd be too embarassed to send something out after 25 years." Van Houter said she has received speeding tickets in the past and paid them; she is willing to pay fines if she did something wrong. She was just stunned to be threatened with a lost license over a ticket from so long ago. "I'm not trying to get out of the ticket if it's mine," she said.
 
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"This session of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is now in session!" -PartyMKR
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"I feel a little over dressed for a casual dinner..." -Jorgie



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