Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection. The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" "I couldn't even get on the bed!.."

Q: submitted by Jim

hey there, I am a faitful follower! but i have a question... how do you get pot out of your system for say.......a drug test! i have only smoked once in the past year and that was 5 days ago. i think i will get tested next week. am i safe? am i not? what is your theory? thanks a lot! gotta get a job!

A:
you're in luck dude, you should be fine. even though weed is fat soluble and stays in your system a lot longer than drugs like cocaine and opiates 5 days should be plenty since you are not a habitual smoker. pot has a half-life of 25-57 hours. this means within the first 25-57 hours half will be out of your system. in the next 25-57 hours half of the remaining half will be out of your system. this keeps going on until the levels are so low that they are undetectable. here is a very general rule of thumb to go by for how long it takes for weed to get out of your system:

single use: 3-5 days
moderate(3 times/wk): 8-12 days
heavy use (daily): 21-30+ days

you can also speed up those numbers a bit by drinking truckloads of water. Water is the medium for various enzymatic & chemical reactions in the body so having plenty of it around will aid your body in getting rid of foreign compounds. also, contrary to popular belief, the more water your drink the less water your body retains. people think that if they drink lots of water they will become bloated but it is the exact opposite. even if you were within the 3-5 days you could stop by passyourdrugtest.com to pick from a number of products that will help you pass. i have had MANY friends that have had to use such products and they have worked every time when the directions were FOLLOWED EXACTLY. so go get that job and celebrate with a nice fat one! ;-)

-JD