For The Week Of 05/26/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Okay," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday". And I just sat there on the couch... Sobbing... Naked... and erect.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Spinning -PornHub Comments
Celebrities -Impersonating Celebs
Peter Dinklage -Peter Dinklage...
Summary Bug -Netflix Glitches
Nine Edibles -Found in Porn Stores
Hobo Bob -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
ViewDNS.info Combines Tons of Internet Troubleshooting Tools

When you are trying to troubleshoot internet connection issues, knowledge is power. ViewDNS.info consolidates 21 different tests on one handy page.P There's a lot of good stuff here, from "Is this Site Down" to "Traceroute" and "IP Location Finder." You can find all this information other places, of course, but this site puts it all onto one page. The one thing missing is your current IP address.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by JerseyGirl

"I've been dating this guy for about a month. He goes to a college that is near where I live. The semester is over now and he will be leaving in a couple of weeks to work with his dad somewhere, so I won't see him for the summer :( We've been making out in his truck a lot. The problem is that when I suck on him, he gets too excited and he cums in like 5 minutes. I want to suck on him longer than that. When I'm sucking I go real slow but that doesn't seem to help. The last time I did that to him, when I could feel he was getting too excited, I was going to stop sucking for a minute, but he kept his hand on my head and asked me not to stop. So I kept doing it slow and he came. After a few minutes I would try doing it again, but he complained that it was too sensitive. Is there anyway I can suck on him so that he won't cum so fast. He will be leaving soon and not only will I miss him, I will miss doing that to him :("

A:

"Five full minutes of stimulation to a dick is enough to make most guys cum. In fact most guys will cum in less than 5 minutes if they are being stimulated properly. Whatever you are doing to him, you are certainly doing it right--now you have to learn how to prolong it a bit for full satisfaction for both of you. A slow sensuous blowjob will get me off faster than a scalded dog, so if I want to make it last longer, I will ask a girl to suck my balls before I get to close to the brink. Alternate sucking the shaft with going down to the balls or running your tongue up and down different sides of the shaft (this feels good, but won't make him cum if you don't do the underside too long).

Doing different things down there will take the focus away from the steady stimulation that is going to make him cum. Some girls want to get a bj over with right away and will work furiously to make him cum quickly, but 5 minutes is actually a long time for most guys to hold off on cumming if you are doing an outstanding job. I'm sure you've been told how sensuous your mouth and lips are, so the mere thought of that lovely mouth wrapped deep around his dick is likely enough to get him halfway to cumming by itself. Switch it up a little when you're down there and you will soon be in control of making him cum when YOU are finished with him (he will love the long bj too of course). Good luck JG, you are doing it right (just a little too right...lol)."

-JJ

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Road House Face-Punches


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
TORONTO, CANADA -- Police say a fleeing thief was struck by a car in a hit and run in the heart of the downtown core Saturday evening. The victim, police say, was being chased by a retail store employee after stealing multiple coats when he was struck by a vehicle near Queen and Yonge streets at around 5:30 p.m. The vehicle involved in the incident then drove off but was apprehended by police at Front and Yonge streets. The driver faces charges for failing to remain at the scene of the accident and police say they found drugs on the passenger. Charges are also pending against the victim of the hit and run for the theft.

The victim has been transported to hospital with serious leg injuries, Toronto EMS says. Witness Kevin Wheeler told CP24 that the man's leg was "shattered" after he was hit by the vehicle.

"He tried to stand up and it was obvious that it was broken," Wheeler said. "It wasn't very pretty to watch."
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"He's got that gangsta lean...forward so he can move."-Bryan

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"The Segway Pimp takes a stroll with his hoes."-Rob



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