For The Week Of 05/27/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar. After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry about it," said the Texan, "we have plenty of tequila deep in the heart of Texas." The Californian, not wanting to be outdone, selected a bottle of fine wine, tossed it up, and shot it into smitherines. "Hey, don't sweat it dudes," chirped the Californian, "There's zillions of bottles of wine in Cali." The Seattlite, following suit, guzzled down a bottle of micro-brewed beer, chucked it towards the rafters, shot the Californian, and (without missing a beat) pulled out his hand and caught the beer bottle. Everyone in the bar stood frozen. "Relax," said the Seattlite, "Up in Seattle, there's a shitload of Californians."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Corporate -Spirit
Park Slope -Family Circus
Tech Writer's -Outdated Devices
Expectations Of -Texting Exes
Should I -Drink This Beer?
Cult Classic -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Listacular Creates Flexible To-Dos & Is Packed with Gestures

iPhone: There's already a glut of to-do list apps available on iOS, but Listacular is a new entrant into the fold that brings a beautiful interface, Dropbox syncing, and collaborative list editing to the table, and it's definitely worth a look. Once you open the app, just hit the plus sign on the top right to create a new list or new item. When creating an item, an extra row on top of the keyboard lets you make it a checkbox, bullet point, or plain text in a variety of sizes. You can also indent items to create nested lists, which is much-appreciated by this longtime Clear user. Once you're done creating items, you can swipe them to the right to mark them as complete, swipe far to the right to delete them, or swipe to the left to add due dates and alarms. They're (very) reminiscent of Mailbox and Clear's gestures, but they work really well here. One fresh new gesture is pull to sync. Pull your list down, and instead of refreshing, the app will commit your changes to a Dropbox text file. If you share this file with friends' Dropbox accounts, they'll be able to collaborate on the list through the app. For example, I'm using this with my girlfriend to create a shared grocery list, and so far it works really well. Listacular is free, but a one-time $2.99 in-app purchase will let you create more lists at a time.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by BigDaddy67

"I have been married for 10 years and I love oral sex, both giving and receiving. My wife on the other hand does not. She's started letting me go down on her over the last couple of years and I love the pleasure it brings her (and me, I love doing this). She on the other hand does not like giving me oral sex. I'm lucky if she goes down on me twice a year, christmas and my birthday. I love it when she does, but I can't enjoy it as much as I should because I know she's not enjoying it. I came in her mouth once and she puked then and there. This made me feel bad as I don't want her to feel like that.
Any suggestions?"

A:

"Well i think her puking may have set you back there my friend. I know that was not your intention but i cant imagine she would care to dwell on it. It might be a good idea to relegate oral sex to foreplay for a while. This way she wont have to worry about the sperm for the time being. you can stimulate each other by 69 before intercourse. But her comfort level is key when trying to convince a girl to spice things up so if you going to try the 69 thing do it on your sides so that she has control for herself and can takes breaks when she needs too.This combined with your stimulation of her might be the thing to get her to relax more and enjoy giving oral more."

-Bastagde

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Jerome is a Gangsta from the Suburbs


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
QUEENS, NY -- A Queens woman said she was thrown in jail for almost a day after a cabdriver tried to flee police with her in the backseat. According to the NY Post, Enid Dunlap, 53, said she took nine bags of clothes to a laundry place back in February 2012. It was 2 a.m., which she claims is the best time to visit the laundromat. “You have access to all the machines you want,” Dunlap explained. The Laurelton resident was picked up by a cab driver, who agreed to take her to an ATM on her way home so she could pay for the ride. As the driver pulled into a gas station, she heard the siren of a police car behind them. Instead of stopping, Dunlap said, the driver sped away. “He wouldn’t stop,” Dunlap said of the driver. “He was running [traffic] lights. I was screaming, ‘What’s the matter with you? Just stop the car!’ ” Dunlap said she threw open her car door, which finally made the driver halt the vehicle. He then got out and ran, leaving Dunlap behind. “I was standing in the street in the middle of the night,” she said. Dunlap says she waited for police to arrive, maybe 20 or 30 minutes later. Instead of offering her a ride, however, she was put in handcuffs. Unwilling to believe Dunlap did not know the driver, police allegedly hauled her in for questioning. “They said, ‘Where’s the guy?’ And I said, ‘I have no idea!’ ” Dunlap said. “I said, ‘I waited for the officer, so why are you handcuffing me?’” Dunlap claims she was tossed in jail for nearly 24 hours without being charged with a crime. She filed a $5 million lawsuit in Brooklyn Federal Court against the NYPD and the city of New York. “When they finally let me go, they were apologizing,” she said. “I used to have a lot of faith in the NYPD. I think they need to be retrained. How they assess things — it’s just scary. It doesn’t make any sense.” “She’s a sweet, older, church-going woman — not exactly your normal denizen of the jail cells,” her lawyer, Robert Tolchin, said. A Law Department spokeswoman told The Post the city will review her claim when it receives the court papers.
 
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"The dog chewed up the couch...so I chewed up the dog." -TK

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"YOU'RE LATE AGAIN." -Tyga



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