For The Week Of 05/29/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?

For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.

If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis... fifty times"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Stolen laptop -Owned
Orbius -Eye Candy
Church -Made With Human bones
Clerks 2-Trailer
Super Burp -Check this out
Solve The Crime -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Scantron TestsTickets
If you don't know the answer on a multiple-choice test, just leave the answer blank. When you get the test back, check the answer key and lightly fill in the correct answer with your pencil. If your teacher is a machine-hating future-phobe, she'll think the computer screwed up and give you credit for those answers. Save this cheat for only the toughest questions—if you're screwing up your Scantron on every test, she'll think you're dumber than a tube sock
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Rick
I have a quick, easy question to ask you: How does one go about breaking up a girl with her boyfriend of over four years?
A:
Here’s a quick, easy answer: You don’t. I’ve learned a little secret in life: You can’t under any circumstances make someone do something they don’t want to do. I assume you want him out of the picture so you can step in. You could make up a lie to make him look awful, like he cheated on her or that he’s really into sex with farm animals. But even if she does dump him, what’s to say she’s gonna want to get with you? And consider for a moment the scenario in which she finds out you made up the lie. Do you have spit on your face? A knee in the balls, perhaps? It ain’t pretty, is it? Look, the best thing you can do is to just let this girl know you like her, and that, should she ever choose to leave her man, you’d be happy to take his place. Say what you gotta say and leave it at that. If anything’s going to get her to go your way, it’s because she decides herself that you’re too awesome to pass up. Don’t be forceful, and don’t campaign for her to make a change. I shouldn’t have to explain why that makes you look bad. Let her do her thing, and if that thing doesn’t include you, move on to someone who’s actually available. Anything less is usually paid for…

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Boston Marathon
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.asx" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
(AP) A fan waiting in line for beer and peanuts got something extra at the concession stand: home run ball No. 715 by Barry Bonds. Andrew Morbitzer was waiting his turn to stock up on a couple of beers Sunday when the souvenir of a lifetime plopped into his hand. "I got to be a small part of a big day," Morbitzer said after the game with his wife, Megan, at his side. For several moments, Bonds' milestone ball appeared to be beyond anyone's reach. It sat lodged on an elevated platform in center field, then trickled off the roof. Morbitzer, a 38-year-old San Francisco resident, caught the ball and was quickly ushered away by security for a postgame news conference after the Giants' 6-3 loss to Colorado. Morbitzer said he went to get a few more beers because he couldn't see who would be up next in the bleachers. "We both finished our beers and decided it was a good time to get a beer refill," he said. He then heard the crowd roar and saw people reaching in the air before catching the ball with one hand. "I snagged it," he said. Giants fans had been waiting for weeks for Bonds to hit his 715th homer and pass Babe Ruth for second place on the career list. Overjoyed fans jumped from their seats and streamers were shot from the stadium as Bonds made his way around the bases and into the history books. "I was psyched. I've been waiting for this to happen for a long time," said Jesse Weber, who has been to every Giants home game this season. "When I walked into the stadium I knew it was going to happen today." Giants were frustrated that Bonds tied Ruth's mark across the Bay in Oakland last weekend. But on the day before the Giants left for a road trip, Bonds connected at home -- leaving him behind only Hank Aaron's 755 on the career list. Weber said he didn't think the achievement was sullied by the steroid accusations that have surrounded Bonds, but worried that "a lot of people think they will need some kind of enhancer to be great player." Frank Huysmans was watching the game with his 7-year-old son, Jeroem, who was wearing a Bonds jersey and a cap. Both said they weren't surprised to see Bonds hit the big home run. "He's Barry Bonds and he's confident and he's always going to do what he needs to do," Huysmans said. Season ticket holder Annie Reynolds said she knew the ball Bonds hit ' historic homer was headed over the fence when she heard the crack of the bat. She only wished she'd brought her camera. "Of course, I left it on the table," she said.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Upon growing up, Peter Pan had no choice but to resort to a life of gay pirate porn"-Duane
Runners-up
"I'm TTTHUPERMAN!!! Wanna go to my fortress of solitude, dude?"-Joe
"Mr. Spock's dirty little secret."-Alex
"Fairy washing powder really shrinks your clothes."-Dewoop
"This Tunic has +3 Gayness level"-Jayme
"Zorro, the GAY blade"-JT



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