For The Week Of 05/30/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager said, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid said, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. Iíll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid said, "One." The boss said, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid said, "$101,237.64." The boss said, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!" Kid said, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didnít think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid said, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, "Well, your weekendís shot, you might as well go fishing."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Wall Papers -Great Collection
Parke Harrison -Eye Candy
Burt Reynolds -Putting The SmackDown
Telephone-Translation
Man Hole Covers -In Japan
Mario -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Exams
Next time you take an exam and reach a page covering subject matter you donít know too well, stealthily remove the staple from the test by bending back the folds of the staple and remove that page from the test. Then, carefully reinsert the staple into the test. When the professor grades it, heíll assume he neglected to give you the missing page, and either let you retake that portion of the test, or just give you full credit for it. Iíve done this three times this year!
ASK TINA

Q: submited by LK
When I ride a bike, my nads go numb. Not good, right?
A:

Right, but donít sweat itóitís common for your nuts to fall asleep after a spin. ďGuys often feel numbness or tingling,Ē explains Laurence Levine, M.D., a professor of urology at Rush-Presbyterian St. Lukeís Medical Center in Chicago. ďThis happens when you sit and press all your body weight against the front of the seat, compressing crucial nerves and blood vessels.Ē Though itís unlikely youíre doing any permanent damage, hereís how to keep your boys from nodding off: Plant your ass so your weight rests on the back of the seat, not the front. And adjust the seat so it fits right for your height and weight. (A bike shop can also do this for you if youíre tool-challenged.) Another option: Invest in a wider, more comfortable seat; you can find these at any cycling or sporting goods store. At the gym, work out on a recumbent bike. And never, ever break up with a Rockette.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


National Anthem
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "singer.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "singer.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In a surprising incident at one of the colleges in Lahore, two college girls were caught half-naked in a washroom in an unconscious state after they had lesbian sex. They had reportedly taken pills before having sex, and later fainted. A fellow student at the college found the two girls in a compromising situation after which she raised alarm and informed the college authorities, the Daily Times reported on Sunday. Both the girls were taken to the college ground, and later the college principal contacted the girls' parents and handed over the girls to them. The two girls had been earlier warned against their lesbian acts after one of the college teachers had found them hugging and kissing passionately inside college premises, the paper added.
 
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"Old Family secret listen closely to carrots !" -jason-man> Runners-up
"SWM, Mustache, B-cup seeking Playboy bunny to nibble my carrot"-Matty
"carrot top turns eighty. Damn ear hair" -DK



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