For The Week Of 06/03/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a highway patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?” The cop answers, “You’re in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.” The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.” The cop runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and, ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?” The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.” The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?” The cop says, “Two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, ‘I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!’”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Jail Bait Or Not -Dont Go To Jail.
Drive Conditions -Awesome Flash.
Butts Across America -Ass cheeks in Famous Places!
Missing Wife -Poor Guy!
Chronicles of George! -World Class Idiot!
Spear Toss -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat.... Parking Spots
If you live in a city with few opportunities for parking your ’78 Gremlin, try this… Make a papier-mâché hydrant (you may need to ask a high school art teacher for some help), paint it the color of the hydrants in your town, put a brick in the bottom so it doesn’t blow away, and carry it around in your trunk. The next time you find a spot and have to leave it for whatever reason, strategically leave the hydrant on the sidewalk in front of the now-empty spot. If you return to your spot and someone has taken away your hydrant and your spot, superglue their wipers to their windshield and make a new hydrant.
Maxwell F. Boston, MA

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by George

hi jd I was wondering what can I do to so i can last longer during sex and what can i do so i can get hard asap right after sex?

A:
the answer to the first part of your question is easy. start banging uglier chiks! no j/k...there are lots of things you can do to last longer during sex. the most obvious is to somehow make your penis less sensitive. one way to do this is to masturbate a few hours before you think you are going to have sex. the other is to use one of the many numbing creams that are out on the market. you can get them on the net or at a local drug store usually. i've never used one but i've heard they work okay. i would imagine that it would make her pussy numb too though. you could also try the age old trick of thinking of something very unsexual like your mom pinching a loaf or something. this is the technique i like to use b/c it is the easiest to do. just think of something fucked up when the pussy starts feelin' just a bit too good. another thing i do is decrease how far i'm thrusting in and out. if i feel like i'm about to cum i'll go balls deep and just gently rub my pubic bone against the girls clit and barely move my cock in and out. not only will you prevent yourself from cumming but it will drive your girl crazy. most guys watch too many pornos for sexual instruction and just thrust away like they are drilling for oil or something. so there are a few ways to deal with bustin' a nut early, now lets address the getting hard again problem. the obvious is viagra (i've talked about it in some previous sublimetimes too). that shit really works man. you take that shit and your dong is like a freakin' baseball bat. seriously..you could go around the house breaking shit with it. the other alternative is the erection creams out there. just do a quick search on google.com and you'll find plenty. rub that shit on you johnson and just watch it grow. i've never tried that kind of cream either but have had friends that told me it worked like a champ. my advice would be to just blow that pussy out instead of getting hard twice. don't blow you wad when she cums. instead let her recover from cumming and then get right back to it. make her cum a handful of times so that when you finally do blow your wad everyone is "good to go." the other cool thing is usually each successive time that you make her cum will make it easier for the next one. once you've made a girl cum 10+ times in a session its just like pushing a button to get her to cum again. now go show that vagina who’s boss!

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Watch Out!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "car.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "car.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Nasty Car Crash!!!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Two 23-year-old California filmmakers told the Las Vegas Review-Journal that, as of early May, they had sold about 10,000 copies of their "Bumfights" video ($19.95), which entertains viewers with real fistfights and dangerous stunts willingly engaged in by actual homeless people (many of them intoxicated) on Las Vegas's streets. Some participants say the video is a realistic portrayal of their violent, everyday existence, and the two filmmakers, Ray Laticia and Ty Beeson, professed sympathy for their subjects by subtitling the video "Cause for Concern." [Las Vegas Review-Journal, 5-5-02]

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
""Scout's Honor, Occifer... I'se not drinkin'."-Karl-
Runners-up
"Dude, I'll suck yo dick fer two dollas" -D-Man
""Can you hear me still?" and gave the wireless phone company hand-sign after walking down several pigeon filled blocks in Washington DC!" -John



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002|




[ back to sublime main ]