Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a highway patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?” The cop answers, “You’re in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.” The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.” The cop runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and, ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?” The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.” The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?” The cop says, “Two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, ‘I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!’”

Q: submitted by George

hi jd I was wondering what can I do to so i can last longer during sex and what can i do so i can get hard asap right after sex?

A:
the answer to the first part of your question is easy. start banging uglier chiks! no j/k...there are lots of things you can do to last longer during sex. the most obvious is to somehow make your penis less sensitive. one way to do this is to masturbate a few hours before you think you are going to have sex. the other is to use one of the many numbing creams that are out on the market. you can get them on the net or at a local drug store usually. i've never used one but i've heard they work okay. i would imagine that it would make her pussy numb too though. you could also try the age old trick of thinking of something very unsexual like your mom pinching a loaf or something. this is the technique i like to use b/c it is the easiest to do. just think of something fucked up when the pussy starts feelin' just a bit too good. another thing i do is decrease how far i'm thrusting in and out. if i feel like i'm about to cum i'll go balls deep and just gently rub my pubic bone against the girls clit and barely move my cock in and out. not only will you prevent yourself from cumming but it will drive your girl crazy. most guys watch too many pornos for sexual instruction and just thrust away like they are drilling for oil or something. so there are a few ways to deal with bustin' a nut early, now lets address the getting hard again problem. the obvious is viagra (i've talked about it in some previous sublimetimes too). that shit really works man. you take that shit and your dong is like a freakin' baseball bat. seriously..you could go around the house breaking shit with it. the other alternative is the erection creams out there. just do a quick search on google.com and you'll find plenty. rub that shit on you johnson and just watch it grow. i've never tried that kind of cream either but have had friends that told me it worked like a champ. my advice would be to just blow that pussy out instead of getting hard twice. don't blow you wad when she cums. instead let her recover from cumming and then get right back to it. make her cum a handful of times so that when you finally do blow your wad everyone is "good to go." the other cool thing is usually each successive time that you make her cum will make it easier for the next one. once you've made a girl cum 10+ times in a session its just like pushing a button to get her to cum again. now go show that vagina who’s boss!

-JD