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OF THE WEEK
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
These days golf balls cost so much you almost need a co-signer. But here's a tip to keep your bag full of new balls, year round. On the back of most golf ball sleeves, there’s a guarantee of a new sleeve of balls for every “sliced ball” sent in. It’s worth your time to collect sliced balls from your buddies, the driving range, or even Ginsu up a few on your own. Sending back just four sliced balls will yield you a fresh dozen.
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Which is better when you’re pleasing a woman orally, long tongue strokes or quick, penetrating ones?
Both! Darting, pointy ones and the clamp-on sucky ones are good, too. Variety’s always welcome in the land down under (unless it involves teeth). The trick is to know when to use which, and in what sequence. It’s all about the buildup. Start off with the slow, long tongue strokes. In fact, if you’re real good, you’ll apply those everywhere except her clit…at first. Make her beg. When you move on to her love button, warm it up with a few of those long licks. As she gets more excited, you pick up the pace, too, and lay a few quick and darty ones on her. Gradually move on to something more rhythmic, like circles or side to side. Once you feel like she’s moving in for the big O, keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t change your stroke—it’s obviously working. This is so important that I’m going to say it again: use all the variety you want in the beginning, but once you get her to that edge, do not change your stroke. If you do, you run the risk of having to start all over from scratch. Though your mouth may feel as though it’s about to fall off, keep steady, young man, and keep on truckin’.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
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ASHINGTON ESTATES, Fla. -- For most high school students, the perfect grade point average is a 4.0. But that wasn't good enough for one Hillsborough County student who graduated with a mind-boggling 8.08 GPA.
Rumela Das did find time for cheerleading and the student newspaper at King's High School. She was enrolled in the school's International Baccalaureate program, where other students take online and summer courses in addition to Advanced Placement classes.
Rumela said she could have scored an even higher GPA if she had known about all the Advanced Placement and online course options available to her in ninth grade.
She plans to continue cheerleading at MIT next year.
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"mooooooooooo! means noooooooooooo!"-Sly Runners-up
"Down on the farm.....where men are men, and livestock is nervous!"-Micheal
"Doing out best to keeping Kobe Beef Tender"-Octavio
"Whos the sick one here, Cowfucker or Cowfuckers stalker?"-J
"Breaking News! Proof Rosie is not a lesbian after all!"-Chris