|JOKE OF THE
A woman walks into a bar and orders a
whisky on the rocks. The bartender takes the glass and grabs a
handful of ice. “Wait a minute,” says the woman. “I don’t know where
those hands have been. Please use the tongs.” The bartender gives
her a funny look, but shrugs and obliges. A couple minutes later the
woman notices that the bartender has a string hanging from the
zipper of his pants. “Excuse me, I don’t want you to get the wrong
idea, but you have a string hanging from you zipper.” “Yeah, that’s
so when I go to the bathroom, I can just pull it out without having
to touch anything,” says the bartender. “That way I don’t need to
wash my hands.” “That makes sense,” says the woman, and she
continues to enjoy her drink. A few moments later, after having time
to think, she adds, “I don’t mean to pry, but how do you get it back
in?” The bartender smiles and replies, “That’s what the tongs are
|SITES OF THE
Quotes -May He Rest In Peace!
Service Man Fallen -Information About Each. |
Disasters -Hilarious! |
|Cyber Sex Logs -Good Read
For Laughs! |
Simpsons Quotes -Are You Kidding Me?
-Game Of The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Here’s an easy way to get a
free sandwich or drink at a fast food drive-thru. Just place your
order, minus one or two items like a drink or second sandwich. When
you get to the window, tell the cashier you’d like to add the
item(s) you left out. Rather than going through the trouble of
changing the order, they will almost always just give you the extra
stuff free. I’ve gotten up to two burgers and a drink free with
orders in the past. |
contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
Q: submited by Qt
boyfriend would like me to be on top, but I'm not sure how to do it.
What's so great about this position, and how can I master it?
Your guy probably
wants it because he'll get to see you in all your full-frontal
glory, a major turn-on for any hot-blooded male. Plus, since he'll
have a limited range of motion, he's likely to last longer, too. But
there are also some sexy advantages for you. This position puts you
in control of the pace, motion and depth of penetration, so you can
get the kind of stimulation you need to send you over the edge. To
assume the woman-on-top position, have your guy lie on his back and
straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips. Or, if you
prefer, you can squat over him with your feet flat on the mattress.
Tease him before he enters you by slowly running your fingers down
his chest to his shaft and stroking his member till it's good 'n'
hard. Then, with one hand on the bed or his chest for support, hold
the base of his penis with your other hand and slowly lower yourself
onto him. Start moving up and down to build momentum. Or, you can
rest your torso on his and sensuously grind him from side to side or
in circles. But just because you're in the driver's seat, that
doesn't mean you have to do all the work. To keep from tuckering
out, have him wrap his hands around your hips and help you gyrate.
For a truly titillating experience, ask your guy to stimulate your
breasts, belly and clitoris as you're riding him. If being up in the
saddle makes you feel a little overexposed, pull his shoulders
toward you so you're both sitting face-to-face, with your legs
wrapped around each other, and rock back and forth. Not only is this
pose less revealing, it puts you in a primo position for smooching.
Another stance that gives you maximum G-spot: Have him lie back,
then swivel around and straddle him so you're facing his feet,
leaning slightly forward. No matter what adjustments need to be
made, keep this you-on-top tip in mind: If he pops out at any point,
just put him back in and resume the action. But avoid thrusting too
forcefully, or you could bend his penis, which can result in a
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click flash and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "lizard.wmv" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "lizard.wmv"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
|At the University of
Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's "Sex Out Loud" Health Awareness
Fair in March, the Feminist Majority organization sponsored a
"giant vagina structure" for which students could pay a dollar
and stick their heads in to have their pictures taken. Said a
spokesperson, "There are a lot of phallic symbols in society,
and we wanted to put a vaginal one out there." [Daily Illini,
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
"Dear Adam, I've met
someone else, Eve"-OC
"My anaconda dont
want none, unless you got buns hun"-Will
"What Jane does when
Tarzan is away."-Ryan
contributions or suggestions to