For The Week Of 06/07/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman walks into a bar and orders a whisky on the rocks. The bartender takes the glass and grabs a handful of ice. “Wait a minute,” says the woman. “I don’t know where those hands have been. Please use the tongs.” The bartender gives her a funny look, but shrugs and obliges. A couple minutes later the woman notices that the bartender has a string hanging from the zipper of his pants. “Excuse me, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but you have a string hanging from you zipper.” “Yeah, that’s so when I go to the bathroom, I can just pull it out without having to touch anything,” says the bartender. “That way I don’t need to wash my hands.” “That makes sense,” says the woman, and she continues to enjoy her drink. A few moments later, after having time to think, she adds, “I don’t mean to pry, but how do you get it back in?” The bartender smiles and replies, “That’s what the tongs are for.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ronald Regan's Quotes -May He Rest In Peace!
Each Service Man Fallen -Information About Each.
Wanking Disasters -Hilarious!
Cyber Sex Logs -Good Read For Laughs!
Jessica Simpsons Quotes -Are You Kidding Me?
POOL -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Burger Joints!
Here’s an easy way to get a free sandwich or drink at a fast food drive-thru. Just place your order, minus one or two items like a drink or second sandwich. When you get to the window, tell the cashier you’d like to add the item(s) you left out. Rather than going through the trouble of changing the order, they will almost always just give you the extra stuff free. I’ve gotten up to two burgers and a drink free with orders in the past.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Qt
My boyfriend would like me to be on top, but I'm not sure how to do it. What's so great about this position, and how can I master it?

A:
Your guy probably wants it because he'll get to see you in all your full-frontal glory, a major turn-on for any hot-blooded male. Plus, since he'll have a limited range of motion, he's likely to last longer, too. But there are also some sexy advantages for you. This position puts you in control of the pace, motion and depth of penetration, so you can get the kind of stimulation you need to send you over the edge. To assume the woman-on-top position, have your guy lie on his back and straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips. Or, if you prefer, you can squat over him with your feet flat on the mattress. Tease him before he enters you by slowly running your fingers down his chest to his shaft and stroking his member till it's good 'n' hard. Then, with one hand on the bed or his chest for support, hold the base of his penis with your other hand and slowly lower yourself onto him. Start moving up and down to build momentum. Or, you can rest your torso on his and sensuously grind him from side to side or in circles. But just because you're in the driver's seat, that doesn't mean you have to do all the work. To keep from tuckering out, have him wrap his hands around your hips and help you gyrate. For a truly titillating experience, ask your guy to stimulate your breasts, belly and clitoris as you're riding him. If being up in the saddle makes you feel a little overexposed, pull his shoulders toward you so you're both sitting face-to-face, with your legs wrapped around each other, and rock back and forth. Not only is this pose less revealing, it puts you in a primo position for smooching. Another stance that gives you maximum G-spot: Have him lie back, then swivel around and straddle him so you're facing his feet, leaning slightly forward. No matter what adjustments need to be made, keep this you-on-top tip in mind: If he pops out at any point, just put him back in and resume the action. But avoid thrusting too forcefully, or you could bend his penis, which can result in a serious injury.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


AAAHHHHH!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "lizard.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "lizard.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
At the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's "Sex Out Loud" Health Awareness Fair in March, the Feminist Majority organization sponsored a "giant vagina structure" for which students could pay a dollar and stick their heads in to have their pictures taken. Said a spokesperson, "There are a lot of phallic symbols in society, and we wanted to put a vaginal one out there." [Daily Illini, 3-19-04]
 
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This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Dear Adam, I've met someone else, Eve"-OC
Runners-up
"My anaconda dont want none, unless you got buns hun"-Will
"What Jane does when Tarzan is away."-Ryan



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