For The Week Of 06/10/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A trucker drives his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and starts down the other side when he notices a man and a woman making love in the road. He blows his horn several times, but they don't budge. He slams on his brakes and stops just inches from them. Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walks to the couple, still in the road, and yells, "What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn? You could've been killed!" The man on the highway looks up and says, "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Very Ugly -Belgian Houses
Sex Worker -Street Art
IKEA Furniture -In Swedish
Little Rooster -Love Mornings
RealTouch -Male Masturbator
The Skullkid -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Warmly Wakes You Up Gently, Encourages Better Sleep

Android: Warmly is an alarm clock app for Android that wakes you up gently and smoothly in the morning. It starts quiet, before you need to get up, and slowly raises the volume of your selected wake-up sound. When you're ready to get up, Warmly shows you the weather and gives you a good start to your day. The video above is a bit of a teaser, but this one is a full walkthrough of the app's features, it's just a bit long. You can select the wake-up sound you want, whether it's the sound of frying eggs and breakfast being made, brewing coffee, a bustling airport, or a simple morning meditation. Five minutes before you're supposed to be up, the alarm will start playing your sound from really low volume, and slowly ramp it up until you hear it, turn off the alarm, and get up. It'll even get you the local weather and temperature for you. It's worth noting that the app doesn't have multi-day alarms, either: the goal is to promote good sleep hygeine by waking up at the same time every day—a tip we've mentioned before. You can snooze the alarm, if you must. Plus, the alarm features an auto-off after 15 minutes, so if you forget it and aren't around to turn it off, your neighbors or roommates won't hate you when you get back. The Warmly app is $2 at Google Play.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by MagicFingers

"I went to the Doc about a week ago with the problem that I was having trouble getting hard, ED, due to a change in blood pressure medicine. He changed some things and had me get a testosterone level. The test came back I had low testoterone, so, he wants another test in a week. I feel like I have an normal sex drive.

Can anyone tell me what to expect if my testosterone is raised. I've heard mood and energy can be affected by low testosterone. If my sex drive goes up I'll have to jack off twice a day now;)"

A:

"If your testosterone levels are below normal, restoring them will help you feel younger, stronger, more energetic and hornier. Consider that a plus. You'll be able to jack off twice as much. Enjoy!"

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Lesbian Lightning Round


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
PALM BAY, FL -- A man suffered serious burn injuries Sunday evening while using a shop vacuum to siphon gasoline from a vehicle. Palm Bay spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez reports that the flash fire occurred around 7:15 p.m. in the 1300 block of Waffle Street. According to Martinez, a witness saw "his neighbor on fire and running out of the house." Family members took the victim to a hospital.

Palm Bay firefighters put out the fire in the garage, which caused an estimated $20,000 damage to the house. An investigation revealed that the man was siphoning the gasoline from the car with the shop vacuum, with the garage door closed. Martinez said the fire appears to be the result of gasoline fumes accumulating inside the closed garage, which were ignited by the vacuum. The victim was transferred to the Orlando Regional Medical Center Burn Center. Palm Bay Fire and police investigators are working the case.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"We don't have time to stop for bikini-clad wenches. Onward!" -Chuck

Runner-up
"...Must make it home in time to watch Game of Thrones..." -Twoism



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