For The Week Of 06/12/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A couple has been married for 50 years and are celebrating their anniversary. The wife asks what the husband wants for their anniversary and he replies, "I would like you to perform oral sex on me. In the 50 years we have married NEVER have you ONCE done this to me."

She replies, "It's just that I'm afraid that you won't respect me afterwards."

"Won't respect you afterwards! he yells, we have been married for 50 years for Christ sakes!"

"OK! OK! I'll do it just this one time!" She then bends down and gives him oral sex until he has an orgasm in her mouth. Immediately afterwards she runs to the bathroom. The phone rings next to the bed and he picks it up. He then yells to his wife, "Hey Cock sucker! it's for you!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Kill Bill 1 and 2 -In 120 Seconds!
Spanish Castle Magic -Great Illusion
Art Of Science -Cool Contest!
Rolling With Bob Sagat -Jaimie Kennedy
All Women Are The Same -Find Out About Yours!
Amazing Dare Dozen -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Your Sappy Girlfriend
Whenever you go out for Chinese food, bring your own fortune printed up on a tiny piece of paper. When it comes time to open your fortune cookie, replace your real fortune ("You will leave your lover disappointed") with your fake fortune ("The mood is right for a friendly chat to lead to romance"). It works every time—as long as she is gullible enough to choose her fuck buddies based on pre-printed Chinese wisdom.
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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Rick
Whenever my wife and I have sex, I come within a matter of 30 seconds. How can I last longer in bed, without having to do silly exercises?
A:
I know you don’t want to hear it, but those exercises are the best long-term fix for the short shakedown between the sheets. But I hear you loud and clear, so here are a few quick—but temporary—fixes for the problem with your jiffy pop. First off, you may want to try anesthetic creams and desensitizing sprays. Condom usage, too, may help extend your ride in the tunnel of love. But your problem could be physical and fixable, so go to the doctor to check up on the ol’ prostate. If everything’s in working order, you may want to try some Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors, says Manhattan-based psychiatrist and sex therapist Dr. Barbara Bartlick. SSRIs—i.e., antidepressants in the Prozac family of drugs like Paxil, Luvox, and Zoloft—have been known to help prolong your hang time. But dong-dosers use caution: Said drugs can cause more disturbing side effects like diminished desire, woody wilt, or completely delayed ejaculation. Check with a urologist for a recommendation. Remember that these are temporary measures, and the ultimate goal is not to make you less sensitive, but to train yourself to stand more pleasure for longer amounts of time. Dr. Barbara also suggests that you experiment with alternative ways to sexually satisfy both you and your wife in order to take the pressure off.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


FireCrackers
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.asx" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - Cameron Evans suits up in superhero garb as part of his job, but he may never have guessed that his alter ego, "Luke Pie-Rocker," would save someone's day. Teresa Skarman was walking home Tuesday night when a purse snatcher grabbed her red leather bag. The 55-year-old grocery store bagger screamed for help and Evans - sporting orange tights, black boots and cape - chased the mugger. A delivery man for Galactic Pizza, Evans tailed the robber for blocks, until two bystanders helped corner the crook in an alley. They ended up letting him go in exchange for the purse. Evans, 26, a student at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, said he wasn't worried about his safety, hoping others would help. Skarman said she admires Evans' bravery. "I'm so thankful," she said, clutching her red purse. "He's my hero."
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"The leaning tower of pantie"-Mike
Runners-up
"NO MATTER HOW HIGH YOU BUILD THE WALL THEY WILL GO OVER IT"-AJ
"There's a bad moon on the rise."-Eric
"Hurry up and tie the damn thing, Lois, I've got to piss"-Micheal
"BECKY'S COWORKERS LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT MAYBE THE OLD EX-LAX IN THE COOKIES TRICK WASNT SUCH A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL!"-D



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