For The Week Of 06/17/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow," says the barkeep. "What’d you do?" "I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out." "That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?" "I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ‘Bad dog!’"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Cock It -Learn To Talk Dirty.
Mad Cow -A Pissed OF Cow Sounds Off.
Tourette Syndrome Barbie -Wow! Do You Kiss Ken With That Mouth!
404 -Great Flash!
Osama's Last Video! -Hilarious!
Badger-Racing -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat.... Movie Theaters
Want to see the latest piece of shit from Hollywood gratis? Here’s the deal: Just call a theatre near you, and ask to speak to the manager. Tell him/her that your most recent bank statement indicates that the pimply faced chimp at the box office double-swiped your credit card the last time you and your buddies saw a movie there. Since those dumbasses do it all the time, the manager will willingly comp you movie passes.
Nick Philadelphia, PA

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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Gem

i'm about to get a tattoo but heard that there are some colors that are harder to get removed down the line. is this true?

A:
let me start off by saying that if you are going into this already thinking about getting it removed i would sleep on it for a couple of nights. getting a tattoo is not something you want to do on the spur of the moment. i've got some tattoos (hey, its mandatory if you're a hick) and have only made a mistake on one of them for this very same reason. when i was 15 and the "bad boy club" logo came out i thought it was bad as hell. so, like a dumb ass, i got a fake id and had a tattoo guy do one up. it wasn't long before i'd realized that i just got one of the cheesiest logos of all time put on my back forever. luckily it wasn't that big and i've since covered up with a much bigger tattoo. i've also started work on a right sleeve since then but thats another story. my point is think about what you are going to get...VERY thoroughly. i also have some first hand experience with getting them removed. a while back i paid for a girlfriend to get some of hers removed and went with her each time (told you i was a hick). let me tell you my friend..for a tatoo that took about 3 hours to do you are looking at about 10-20 half hour sessions and a few thousand to remove. it also seemed like it hurts about twice as much. the good news is it really does work. big ones will always leave a faint ghost image but it is pretty much completely gone. as far as colors go it depends on the laser. many of them will have trouble with yellow or neon colors because they do not absorb the frequency of the laser well (the laser works by pumping so much energy into the ink molecules that they vaporize and your body carries the pieces away). this page has a cool little animated image towards the bottom that will show you the before and after of a removal. i'd also suggest against "bargain" shopping for a tattoo. find the best guy and pay the premium to be going to the best guy! make sure to look at his book and make sure you are happy with his work. oh yeah, if you get one make sure to take a pic and email it to us! we'll post it as a POD. ;-)

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


The Plumptations!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "price.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "price.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


They Are All The Women!


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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Dutch livestock-breeding-device manufacturer recently began selling a $27 vibrator that supposedly relaxes sows during artificial insemination to increase the chances of fertilization. Said the sales manager at the company Schippers Bladel BV, "Once the vibrator is inserted, the pig's ears will go up and she will stand ready to be serviced." The company also makes a remote-controlled plastic pig whose movements, mating sounds and scents supposedly encourage the sow to be serviced. [Bloomberg News, 5-24-02]

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Well I'm 6 foot blue eyed blonde with a 12 inch cock. Internet Truths."-Dave DSL-
Runners-up
"I'll teach that damn austin powers for killing my brother Fat Bastard!" -John
"who's been naughty and who's been nice??? ohhh...she's very naughty." -Jared



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