|JOKE OF THE
A man walks into a bar and orders a
triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That’s
quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?" After quickly downing his drink,
the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow," says the barkeep. "What’d you do?" "I walked over to my
wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told
her to pack her stuff and get the hell out." "That makes sense,"
says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?" "I walked
over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ‘Bad dog!’"
|SITES OF THE
|Cock It -Learn To Talk
|Mad Cow -A
Pissed OF Cow Sounds Off. |
Syndrome Barbie -Wow! Do You Kiss Ken With That Mouth! |
|404 -Great Flash! |
Last Video! -Hilarious! |
-Game Of The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Want to see the latest piece
of shit from Hollywood gratis? Here’s the deal: Just call a theatre
near you, and ask to speak to the manager. Tell him/her that your
most recent bank statement indicates that the pimply faced chimp at
the box office double-swiped your credit card the last time you and
your buddies saw a movie there. Since those dumbasses do it all the
time, the manager will willingly comp you movie passes. |
contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
Q: submitted by
i'm about to get a tattoo but heard that there are
some colors that are harder to get removed down the line. is this
let me start off
by saying that if you are going into this already thinking about
getting it removed i would sleep on it for a couple of nights.
getting a tattoo is not something you want to do on the spur of the
moment. i've got some tattoos (hey, its mandatory if you're a hick)
and have only made a mistake on one of them for this very same
reason. when i was 15 and the "bad boy club" logo came out i thought
it was bad as hell. so, like a dumb ass, i got a fake id and had a
tattoo guy do one up. it wasn't long before i'd realized that i just
got one of the cheesiest logos of all time put on my back forever.
luckily it wasn't that big and i've since covered up with a much
bigger tattoo. i've also started work on a right sleeve since then
but thats another story. my point is think about what you are going
to get...VERY thoroughly. i also have some first hand experience
with getting them removed. a while back i paid for a girlfriend to
get some of hers removed and went with her each time (told you i was
a hick). let me tell you my friend..for a tatoo that took about 3
hours to do you are looking at about 10-20 half hour sessions and a
few thousand to remove. it also seemed like it hurts about twice as
much. the good news is it really does work. big ones will always
leave a faint ghost image but it is pretty much completely gone. as
far as colors go it depends on the laser. many of them will have
trouble with yellow or neon colors because they do not absorb the
frequency of the laser well (the laser works by pumping so much
energy into the ink molecules that they vaporize and your body
carries the pieces away). this
page has a cool little animated image towards the bottom that
will show you the before and after of a removal. i'd also suggest
against "bargain" shopping for a tattoo. find the best guy and pay
the premium to be going to the best guy! make sure to look at his
book and make sure you are happy with his work. oh yeah, if you get
one make sure to take a pic and email it to us! we'll post it as a
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "price.mpg" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "price.mpg"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
They Are All The Women!
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
livestock-breeding-device manufacturer recently began selling
a $27 vibrator that supposedly relaxes sows during artificial
insemination to increase the chances of fertilization. Said
the sales manager at the company Schippers Bladel BV, "Once
the vibrator is inserted, the pig's ears will go up and she
will stand ready to be serviced." The company also makes a
remote-controlled plastic pig whose movements, mating sounds
and scents supposedly encourage the sow to be serviced.
[Bloomberg News, 5-24-02]
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
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make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
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"Well I'm 6 foot blue eyed
blonde with a 12 inch cock. Internet Truths."-Dave
"I'll teach that damn austin powers
for killing my brother Fat Bastard!" -John
"who's been naughty
and who's been nice??? ohhh...she's very naughty."
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