For The Week Of 06/19/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Highschool Guy 1: You know my son? I'm so proud of him 'cause he was so successful. He became so rich that he gave one of his best friends a 2-million dollar Mansion for free!

Highschool Guy 2: Really? My son's made me proud too. He's become so rich from acting and gave his closest friend 2 free Hummer H2's.

Highschool Guy 3: Even my son got rich. He won the 8 million-dollar Lotto and he bought his friend a private yacht and jet.

The fourth Highschool Guy comes back from the bathroom and overhears them talking about their sons. So he began to tell them about his son.

Highschool Guy 4: Yeah, well, my son hasn't been as successful like your sons have. He's gay and works at a gay stripping joint for a living.

Highschool Guy 1: What a shame.

Highschool Guy 4: No, not really. He lives in a 2-million dollar mansion, owns his own jet and yacht, and owns 2 Hummer H2's which were all given to him by 3 of his Ex-boyfriends.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Frank Calliendo -Greatest Impressions!
Best Buildings Of 2005. -Architect Awards!
Screech -Down And Out!
Net Neutrality -Get Involved.
Vintage Porn -Your Grandfather's Porn!
Damn Birds -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..First Class!
Tired of being a sardine in a flying can? How about a free upgrade to first class? If you know that your flight is not sold out, hang around near the gate until the final call for boarding is issued, and make sure you are the last person to board. Then, simply board the plane and take one of those big comfy seats up front that no poor schmuck in coach can afford. The only lip you’ll get from the flight attendant will be, “Would you like a beverage, sir?”
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jason
I’d like to involve sweets to please my sweetie, specifically candy and sweet fruits. However, I’m concerned that some of those things might irritate her, give her a yeast infection, cause irritation, etc. What can you tell me?
A:
So you’re thinking about doing a little homestyle version of 9½ Weeks, are ye? Well, to make sure it doesn’t come back to haunt your honey, I talked to our friendly neighborhood gynecologist, New York-based Dr. Robert Hecht. According to the doctor, you can pretty much drip, rub, pour, sprinkle, or slather anything on each other, and there aren’t any real concerns. Of course, you’re gonna want to use your common sense, he warns: Avoid scalding liquids or any uncooked foods that might harbor bacteria, like raw eggs (though why you’d want to go there is a mystery to even this hard-boiled sexpert). As far as very sugary candies and naturally sweet foods and fruits, you may want to be more careful with these. According to Dr. Hecht, the connection between dietary sugar and yeast infections is controversial, but as many women can attest, shoveling lots of sugary stuff often contributes quite handily to a mean yeastie (the sugar upsets the delicate balance of flora in the vag that keeps it healthy). It only stands to reason, then, that skipping the middleman and introducing sugar directly into her trap could possibly do the same thing. So, sweet foodstuffs and condiments applied topically should be fine, says the doctor, as long as you guys don’t leave it there for too long. On that note, you should be aware that there are several potential pitfalls when it comes to inserting things vaginally, sugary or not, says Dr. Hecht. Anything rigid may do damage to the delicate walls of the vagina (D’oh! There go the Blow-Pops…) and anything soft could potentially break inside and become extremely difficult to remove completely (Oops! There goes that banana…). According to Dr. Hecht, “if anything were left in the vagina for a significant period of time, the end result would be a whopping infection, and, most likely, an extremely foul-smelling discharge. To make matters worse, her gynecologist is unlikely to buy the story about the end of the kielbasa falling out of the bun and taking the most unusual bounce…” Hmm, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


How Blind Can You Be?
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ST. LOUIS (AP) - A woman accused of pummeling a dog breeder over the head with a dead Chihuahua has been charged with two misdemeanors and reimbursed the money she paid for the puppy. Lisa Lynn Hopfer, 33, of Wentzville, was charged with trespassing and third-degree assault in the June 7 incident, authorities said. No listed phone number for Hopfer was available. A man at her home who declined to identify himself told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Friday that "there's another side to the story," but declined to elaborate. Hopfer told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy named Chloe, it died. Authorities said Hopfer went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said. Linda Hulsey, 33, of St. Peters, wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said. Hulsey said she was hit with the dead puppy at least 30 times and went to a hospital for her bruises, but had no serious injuries. She said she was upset that Hopfer had accused her of selling the puppy too young and said the puppy was two days shy of 6 weeks old. Hulsey said she later returned the $100 that Hopfer had paid for the dog.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Looks like two hams in a June sweat!!!"-Suse
Runners-up
"Watch out, she is gonna blow"-rick
"New JLO implants"-jack
"I've got the buns, who brought the hamburger"-George



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