For The Week Of 06/18/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
The premiere issue of sublime times featuring Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime t-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, I cant come in today, Im sick. He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, I cant come in today, Im sick.The boss asks the foreman about him and he replies, Hes great. He does the work of two men. We need him.So the next day the boss calls the guy into his office and says, You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. Youre a good worker and Id hate to fire you. Whats the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?

The guy replies, No I dont drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks heavily every weekend, then beats up my sister. So every Monday morning I go over to make sure shes alright.
She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another,
and the next thing you know Im fucking her.

The boss says, You fuck your sister?

The guy replies, Hey, I told you I was sick.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Blow Me Kathy Lee - Kathy Lee oral sex simulator
10K For a Wife - Just a Fool Looking for A Wife
Rubberburner - Learn how to pick up chicks and look good from a Master
TIPS & TRICKS
Avoid late fees at Blockbuster Video
Instead of paying late fees like a chump, just put the late video back on the shelf, so when Blockbuster does inventory they will blame one of their employees for not checking in the tape properly and you can just deny the tape being late. Now if Blockbuster only rented Porn!
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by frank atl
I have been with my girlfriend for over 3 years. Our sex life is great but as they say variety is the spice of life. I know this chick from work who is bi and kinda into me. I would like to bring this subject up with my girlfriend to see if she might be down for a threesome. How can I do this so I wont be labeled a pervert who doesnt love her...Please help.

A:
ahh yes...frank, the ever elusive threesome. first off, you need to see if this is even a possibility. you know your coworker is bi..now all you need to do it determine if your g/f will chow some box. i think 98% of girls are a drink or two (or 3 or 4..hehehe) away from diving into some pussy. chiks are just like that..even the most straight girls i've known have grinded against other girls when they were young to get off a little. so, lets look for some indicators. all these are in your favor: your girl has one or more tatoos, she likes porn, she drinks, she does coke (a sure canidate for pussy eating if yes to this one), she likes toys, she went to all girl schools growing up (another sure thing), she has mentioned a fantasy about being with another girl (duh). if you answered yes to 3 or more of these you are good to go. the next step is to see if your g/f thinks your coworker is hot. have her pick you up one day and introduce her to this girl. you will know right away if she likes her. they will either "click" right away or they will both act like cats and be like "who the fuck is that girl." if there is some chemistry you can proceed. now is the execution...this is very tricky me-agi-saun. lets talk about the main ingredients mainly: dinner, partying (club, party, etc..) and lots of drugs and alcohol. first do an informal lunch or something...get everyone compfortable with each other. then, assuming the lunch went well, plan a dinner..and make it somewhere nice. chiks simply dig the high life man...its really that simple. start getting the wine flowing and then move the party to a club. more drinks and dancing....then it is back to the apartment. now it is time for some pool or spa action...if you've got either you are a shoe-in, otherwise your fucked..no j/k. if you don't have access to a hot tub you are going to have to pull some cheesy tricks...BUT at this point i think you'll be ok. your options are a drinking game that requires lots of touching, some kind of massage, or old trusty "truth or dare." once you can get the two girls kissing or petting you are home free. let them go at it! don't be so quick to jump in. once they are really going pull your dick out and start stroking it. it won't be too long before one of them is reaching to grab it. from then on you are on your own...BUT...do not even think about trying to bang the other girl! eat her pussy, have her suck on you, etc... if you go for the intercourse you are going to have more headaches than you can imagine. so thats it...easy as 1-2-3! oh yeah..make sure to pace yourself on the drinks. you want to have a perfect balance of being buzzed so you don't cum right away but not ripped and limp as a dead fish. make us proud young grasshopper..or should i say beaverhopper....

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys. Every clip will have a story explaining how the whole thing became a reality...


SUBLIMEDIRECTORY GOES
FOR WORLD RECORD!

 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "balls.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "balls.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


This is sublime's dear old friend "crazy jake" performing a guinness book of world records attempt. One night JD was trying to think of a new methodology for finding a cure to cancer...instead he came up with this idea for jake. We would elaborate more but...you just have to watch the clip!

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Phillip Buble delivered 30 minutes of memorable testimony to the Maine Legislature's Criminal Justice Committee, opposing the state's attempt to re-enact an anti-bestiality law that was mistakenly wiped out when sodomy was decriminalized years ago. Mr. Buble, who considers himself married to the lovely "Lady Buble," a mixed-breed dog, begged the legislators to leave animals with the same freedom as adults to consent to sex and to initiate it. Enacting a law, he said, sadly, would force him to leave Maine. Lady Buble was not permitted to accompany her groom; she had to wait in the car with the windows partially rolled down.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. if you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

"hey...i hate to break your heart honey but
i'm not a one woman kind of guy"

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