|JOKE OF THE
A guy works a new job on Thursday and
Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, I can’t come in today, I’m
sick. He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he
calls in and says, I can’t come in today, I’m sick.The boss asks the
foreman about him and he replies, He’s great. He does the work of
two men. We need him.So the next day the boss calls the guy into his
office and says, You seem to have a problem getting to work on
Mondays. You’re a good worker and I’d hate to fire you. What’s the
problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?”
replies, “No I don’t drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks
heavily every weekend, then beats up my sister. So every Monday
morning I go over to make sure she’s alright.
She puts her head
on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another,
next thing you know I’m fucking her.”
boss says, “You fuck your sister?”
replies, “Hey, I told you I was
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|Avoid late fees at
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like a chump, just put the late video back on the shelf, so when
Blockbuster does inventory they will blame one of their employees
for not checking in the tape properly and you can just deny the tape
being late. Now if Blockbuster only rented Porn! |
Hey Doc JD,
Q: submitted by frank
I have been with my girlfriend for over 3 years. Our sex
life is great but as they say variety is the spice of life. I know
this chick from work who is bi and kinda into me. I would like to
bring this subject up with my girlfriend to see if she might be down
for a threesome. How can I do this so I wont be labeled a pervert
who doesnt love her...Please help.
ahh yes...frank, the
ever elusive threesome. first off, you need to see if this is even a
possibility. you know your coworker is bi..now all you need to do it
determine if your g/f will chow some box. i think 98% of girls are a
drink or two (or 3 or 4..hehehe) away from diving into some pussy.
chiks are just like that..even the most straight girls i've known
have grinded against other girls when they were young to get off a
little. so, lets look for some indicators. all these are in your
favor: your girl has one or more tatoos, she likes porn, she drinks,
she does coke (a sure canidate for pussy eating if yes to this one),
she likes toys, she went to all girl schools growing up (another
sure thing), she has mentioned a fantasy about being with another
girl (duh). if you answered yes to 3 or more of these you are good
to go. the next step is to see if your g/f thinks your coworker is
hot. have her pick you up one day and introduce her to this girl.
you will know right away if she likes her. they will either "click"
right away or they will both act like cats and be like "who the fuck
is that girl." if there is some chemistry you can proceed. now is
the execution...this is very tricky me-agi-saun. lets talk about the
main ingredients mainly: dinner, partying (club, party, etc..) and
lots of drugs and alcohol. first do an informal lunch or
something...get everyone compfortable with each other. then,
assuming the lunch went well, plan a dinner..and make it somewhere
nice. chiks simply dig the high life man...its really that simple.
start getting the wine flowing and then move the party to a club.
more drinks and dancing....then it is back to the apartment. now it
is time for some pool or spa action...if you've got either you are a
shoe-in, otherwise your fucked..no j/k. if you don't have access to
a hot tub you are going to have to pull some cheesy tricks...BUT at
this point i think you'll be ok. your options are a drinking game
that requires lots of touching, some kind of massage, or old trusty
"truth or dare." once you can get the two girls kissing or petting
you are home free. let them go at it! don't be so quick to jump in.
once they are really going pull your dick out and start stroking it.
it won't be too long before one of them is reaching to grab it. from
then on you are on your own...BUT...do not even think about trying
to bang the other girl! eat her pussy, have her suck on you, etc...
if you go for the intercourse you are going to have more headaches
than you can imagine. so thats it...easy as 1-2-3! oh yeah..make
sure to pace yourself on the drinks. you want to have a perfect
balance of being buzzed so you don't cum right away but not ripped
and limp as a dead fish. make us proud young grasshopper..or should
i say beaverhopper....
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys. Every clip will have a story explaining how the
whole thing became a reality...
FOR WORLD RECORD!
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "balls.mpg" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "balls.mpg"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
This is sublime's dear old
friend "crazy jake" performing a guinness book of world records
attempt. One night JD was trying to think of a new methodology for
finding a cure to cancer...instead he came up with this idea for
jake. We would elaborate more but...you just have to watch the clip!
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
|Phillip Buble delivered 30
minutes of memorable testimony to the Maine Legislature's
Criminal Justice Committee, opposing the state's attempt to
re-enact an anti-bestiality law that was mistakenly wiped out
when sodomy was decriminalized years ago. Mr. Buble, who
considers himself married to the lovely "Lady Buble," a
mixed-breed dog, begged the legislators to leave animals with
the same freedom as adults to consent to sex and to initiate
it. Enacting a law, he said, sadly, would force him to leave
Maine. Lady Buble was not permitted to accompany her groom;
she had to wait in the car with the windows partially rolled
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
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"hey...i hate to break your heart honey
i'm not a one woman kind of