For The Week Of 06/20/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth.

A young nurse enters his room to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr. Jones, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The head nurse walks by and sees the man getting a little distraught, so she marches over to find out what's wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "are my testicles black?"

The head nurse whips back the sheets, pulls down the man's pajamas, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas and says, "There's nothing wrong with them."

Frustrated at this, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "I said, are my test results back?!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Entrances To Hell -WTF
Bad Girls Hotel -NY's Seedier Girls
Fetish Road Map -Kinky
Drugs Are Bad-Bongs Are Good
Fishes -So Many Different Spieces
Poom -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Registrars
Want to get into an upper-level class, but lack the prereq necessary to make it past the academic bouncers? Simply go to department head with an “Add Class” slip. You’ll be asked what your major is, at which time you’ll tell him or her that your major is completely the opposite of the class in question. For example, if you’re a biology major and need a certain bio class and said class is required for your major, then tell the department head you’re an art major and the class is an elective. Confusing? Welcome to college. The department head will most likely sign off, with little reason to confirm your records. I saved myself about three semesters’ worth of time doing this. Yet, somehow, I’m still unemployed.


contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Matt
I love licking girls' assholes as well as their pussies. Is this normal/healthy?
A:

Licking ass (aka tossing her salad) is perfectly normal, although a lot of people don't do it because of taboos about the butt, squeamishness, cleanliness issues, fear of disease, etc. However, asses are hot, the anal area is full of sensitive erotic nerve endings, and eating out a nice, clean asshole can be very pleasurable for both the giver and the receiver. When you ask whether analingus (ass eating) is healthy, I'm not sure if you mean, like, healthy sexually and psychologically, or healthy like, can you get sick from it? If it's the former, I think I already answered that above - it is within the normal and healthy range of sexual behaviors. If you're concerned about what you might catch from licking your lover's ass, well, that's another story. Yes, it is possible to contract communicable diseases from anal-oral contact. By eating ass, you're exposing yourself to any disease that person might have that could be transmitted through their poop, including hepatitis A, food-poisoning type illnesses, and intestinal parasites like Cryptosporidium and Giardia. These are relatively rare, but if you are concerned about protecting yourself, you can use a latex barrier such as a dental dam or an unlubricated condom (unroll it, cut off the end and slice the tube lengthwise to make a square). Plastic kitchen wrap may also work. To use a barrier, dab some water-based lube or saliva on your friend's asshole for better sensation, then place the barrier over their butthole and hold it in place with both hands as you lick against it with your tongue.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Flexible
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "newspaper.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "newspaper.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MBABANE, Swaziland (Reuters) -- Swaziland's King Mswati III took an 18-year-old former Miss Teen Swaziland finalist as his 12th wife during the weekend, barely two weeks after marrying his 11th, media in the tiny African kingdom said. Nothando Dube was selected as Mswati's fiancee after last year's Reed Dance, an event where thousands of maidens dance bare breasted in honor of the Queen Mother and where Mswati has chosen wives in the past. The Times of Swaziland's Sunday edition quoted Mswati's traditional prime minister, Jim Gama, as saying that Dube's nuptials had been concluded Saturday night. Palace officials were unavailable for confirmation on Monday, when Mswati was due to leave on an overseas trip. In late May, Mswati married his 11th wife, 20-year-old Nolichwa Ntenesa, who was also selected during a Reed Dance. Mswati, 37, has drawn criticism for spending money on luxury cars while many of his 1.1 million subjects struggle by on food aid, ravaged by the world's highest rate of HIV/AIDS which affects around two in every five adults. Mswati early in June said he was not sub-Saharan Africa's only absolute monarch, contending that although political parties were banned in Swaziland, he only made decisions after consulting with the people. In 1973 Mswati's father, Sobhuza, whose authorized biography says he had 45 official wives, tore up the constitution of the former British protectorate, sandwiched between South Africa and Mozambique. Mswati's officials are drafting a new constitution, which is set to uphold the ban on political parties.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"So let me ask you, Why is it we don't have health insurance" -Steve> Runners-up
"Monday's at work suck"-Ryan
"Will the real William Hung, PLEASE stand up" -Burhead



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



kid your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 | 05-23-2005|
|05-30-2005|06-06-2005|06-13-2005|




[ back to sublime main ]