For The Week Of 06/21/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man playing golf by himself hits a hole in one on the fifth hole, and out pops a genie to offer him one wish. Thats easy, he says. I wish I had a bigger dick. It will be so, says the genie, who then disappears. The guys johnson grows longer as he continues playing, until by the 11th hole its hanging out of his pants leg. He gets another hole in one, and again the genie appears to offer him a wish. I keep tripping over my dick, and its really annoying, says the man. So what is your wish, master? asks the genie. I want longer legs.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Speed Traps -Locate ones near you!
Get Crunk -Translator.
Vagina Institute -Everything you wanted to know about vaginas!
TerraServer -See if you can find your house!
Micheal Jackson lost his pants -Ebay
Splinter Cell Domestic -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Paying Bills!
Here's a tried-and-true method that allows you to postpone paying your bills (utility, credit card, etc.) a week or two late without incurring any late fees: Write out a check for the correct amount, but don't sign it. This way, you can send it in to the creditor on time, but they can not cash the check since it is not endorsed. Even if the company does not catch your "mistake," their bank will. It will take a week or more for the error to make it's way back to the creditor, and another few days for them to alert you of the problem. But since you "paid" on time, they will not charge you a late fee. By the time you receive notice, you will have another few days to correct your error. By this time, pay day should have already arrived. I have tried this (by mistake, of course), and it works! contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by jackie
My boyfriend keeps asking me to talk dirty to him during sex, but I have no idea what to say. Do you have any suggestions?

A:
Whether you're saying something sensual, making raunchy remarks or sharing a wild fantasy, you don't want your carnal comments to sound forced, so just share the sexy thoughts that pop into your mind rather than trying to rack your brain for something racy. And remember, you don't need to talk the entire session, let alone every time you're doing the deed. Conquer your nerves by starting simple. Tell your guy that you like the way he's touching you, saying something like "It feels so good when you stroke me like that." Try complimenting his body or telling him what you want him to do to you ("Lick my nipples," "I want you inside me," "Thrust deeper," etc.). You may even find that voicing your desires can make the encounter more intense for you, too. If you're really tongue-tied and can't think of anything to say, turn the tables and let him take the lead by asking what he wants to do to you or what you should do to him. Then you can take your cue from his lusty lingo and respond with some titillating talk of your own. After a few sessions like this, I bet your bedroom bantering skills will be top-notch.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Golf Pros!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "golfpro.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "golfpro.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BEAVERTON, Ore. - File this one under "stupid robber tricks." Police in Beaverton, Ore., say a bank robber remembered to bring a gun, a bag for the cash and a bandana to cover his face. But, according to the police account, he forgot a crucial piece of any heist: a nearby getaway car. His was several blocks away. So he demanded car keys from a bank customer. The customer told The Oregonian newspaper the robber was "very polite" and promised to leave the keys under the front seat. Only problem was, he couldn't figure out which key opened up the car. So he went back into the bank to inquire. He finally drove off but was arrested minutes later. Police say he told them it was his first robbery.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Due to high gas prices, Bill figured he'd carry a spare"-E
Runners-up
"You might be a wanna be red neck if..."-Cepok
"You don't need any damn trailers when you gots smarts"-S



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