For The Week Of 06/22/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two men want to get drunk but only have 10 dollars on them. The first guy turns to his friend and says, "I have an idea! Let's go to the deli and buy a salami." The friend is confused but goes along with the plan. They head to the deli, buy the salami and finally head to the bar. They start drinking beer after beer and before they can pay their tab the first guy places the salami between his legs and says, "Here, suck on the salami and they'll kick us out before we even pay!" The friend complies and sure enough the two guys are kicked out the bar. They laugh and celebrate, the plan was a success! So they continue this routine to one bar, then another, and another. Each time they were required to pay the tab the first friend took out the salami and the second bobbed his head on it. Immediately getting them removed from the bars premises. After the last bar hopping the second friend became hungry and said, "Aw man, all these beers have me starving. Where is that salami I want to eat?" The first friend says, "I don't know man, I lost it after the first bar."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ridiculous -VHS Covers
Hot Girls -Workout Shorts
Pornstars -Embarrassing Stories
The World's -Fanciest Prisons
Subtly Brilliant -Design Reasons
No One Was Here -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Learn Photography with Camera Instructor's Free Courses

Camera Instructor is a free web-based photography school that teaches you the fundamentals of photography through videos and interactive exercises. It’s taught by photographer and programmer Cody Meyer, and each lesson starts with an instructional video followed by mini exercises (using in-browser camera simulators) that test what you learned. There’s only one course available now, Photography 101—with 8 lessons covering the exposure triangle and shutter speed, but courses on portraits, landscapes, and weddings are in the works. Even with only 8 lessons so far, the site is a nice resource for those who want to get more out of their camera and are new to photography fundamentals. Camera Instructor makes money through affiliate links for things like camera accessories (surprise!).

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Squeaked

"I have an embarrassing problem – well, it’s awkward for me and potentially very embarrassing for my boyfriend. We’ve been going out together for nearly two years and things are great. In fact, we got engaged at Christmas. Sex is good, too... apart from one aspect of it: I can’t stand his sex noises. They are such a turn-off! He kind of squeaks, which is so unsexy and not very manly either. How can I tackle this without putting a downer (literally) on our sex life for evermore?"

A:

"Yep, you have to be careful here not to knock his confidence so he’s too worried to have sex at all or so focused on controlling the squeaking that it’s not pleasurable for either of you. Try something positive first. As part of foreplay you could try telling him what you’d like him to say or the noises that would turn you on during sex and see how responds. He might get in to it and use it as an opportunity to spice things up. If all else fails, you could scream, moan or squeal louder and drown him out!"

-Coleen

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Instant Traffic Cop


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
HOPKINSVILLE, KY -- Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him. The Kentucky New Era reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove to Tuesday night to the station in Hopkinsville, near the Tennessee border, and slammed on his brakes, nearly hitting a police cruiser. The newspaper reports that Stewart approached officers and said he was ready to go to jail for DUI. The paper says he told police he drank a pint before driving to the station.

Police say Stewart also attempted to drink a closed bottle of fuel injector cleaning fluid, but officers stopped him. He was charged with driving under the influence. It was unclear whether he had a lawyer to contact for comment on the case.
 
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Winner
"Just your run-of-the-mill roadside ASSistance..."-Bethany

Runner-up
"Man, vintage rear-end mirrors were so much better..."-Rich



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|06-22-2015 |





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