|JOKE OF THE
A primary school teacher in the Bronx
decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm
animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew
the correct sound. Who knows what sound a cow makes? she asked. Mary
put her hand up and said Moooo!
good replied the teacher, what sound do sheep make?
answered Johnny. She continued this for a while.
Then she asked
What sound does a pig make?
All the hands in the class went up.
She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at
the back of the class.
He stood up, took a deep breath, and
screamed, Up against the wall, motherfucker!
|SITES OF THE
- See what people at work call you behind your back |
|Rockstar Sex -
See how good your favorite Rockstar is in the sac |
- Find out who gay you really are!
Rap - A funny rap with darth vader and the darth maull. |
|Debit Card |
|I dunno how many jackasses
there are out there that do not know how to use a debit card! Ever
try to use it to pay at the pump or at the grocery store and it
throws a "fuck you---you broke bastard" message back at you when you
know damn well that there should be enough cash in there? I know its
called a debit card...but choose CREDIT instead of DEBIT. This will
let you use your card up to the very last penny and even
overdraft...while with debit you must have at least $40 in your
account before you try and use it.
Hey Doc JD,
Q: submitted by Rony from
I have been with a great girl for about 1 year now, she is
fucking great... All that i could ever want in a wife. The problem
is that even though i am greatly satisfied in the relationship, i
feel as though i am missing out. I feel as though i should be having
more single fun... What are my options?
Rony...this is an
issue that every man must tackle at some point in his life. the good
news is uncle JD has some solutions for you. the first thing to try
doing is shaking up the mix a little. try getting another girl in
the bedroom..a tricky maneuver, but not as hard to do as you might
think. for making the threesome happen simply read last weeks "ask
doc jd." if you've done the best you can to make that happen and it
just isn't becoming a reality (that bitch) there is still something
you can do. you need to take your love making to the next level.
there is one main ingredient in this love salad and its called WEED.
you need to smoke mountains of it and get in a zone. you need to get
in the right frame of mind..it is not you vs. her... rather, it is
you vs. a pussy. you are going to get in this zone and do everything
you can to make that pussy cum so hard it blows the windows off your
house. the name of the game is teasing..girls take time...you need
to force yourself to not rush (the mountain of weed you just smoked
will help this). tweak her nipples, bite her neck, lick her asshole,
eat her pussy, eat her pussy and finger her asshole, finger her
pussy and lick her asshole, stick large pieces of furniture in her
ass...you get the point! now when you are in your zone you are going
to forget all about the fact that you have seen this pussy more
times than your childhood cat whiskers. instead, you are going to be
licking your chops for her pussy because you will be starring down
the barrels of a vagina vibrating on over time drooling out love
juice all over the place. now dive into it...tear it to pieces and
then go for the gusto..finish with some anal while she rubs her clit
so hard it looks like she is a DJ on methanphetamine! so it is just
that easy...just remember me-agi-nuts: see the pussy - be the pussy
(but don't be A pussy). plus, if that doesn't work..you can just
whack off to some beastiality porno (oops..was i thinking aloud
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys. This week it's a submission that makes flaming
nuts a reality...
to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save
target as" option. save the file "balls.mpg" to your desktop. once
downloaded simply double click the new "balls.mpg" icon on your
desktop to watch the movie.
Lot's of people don't
understand what college and a good education will get you, watch our
man from Yale do something that's just plain genius.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|In the five years since he
moved to Wilkie, Saskatchewan (population 1,300), Louis
Harewood, 56, who operates assisted-living homes and who is a
former Baptist preacher, has been accused by husbands of
seducing local married women, using his charisma to allegedly
send the women into voodoo-like hazes in which they reject old
friends and otherwise act strange. Harewood denies any sexual
contact and blames certain former employees for spreading
rumors. Still, petitions recently circulated urging him to go
away. Said one woman, "Our biggest worry is that if he can
control 40-year-old women, what about our 16-year-old
daughters?" [National Post-Saskatoon Star-Phoenix]
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. if you win you get a free sublime
"Batman, eat your heart out" by
"and this one time at band camp i
stuck my hands in this chicks pussy!" by clint
"How do you piss
off Winnie the Poo?...Stick two fists in his honey" by A