For The Week Of 06/25/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
Week 2 of sublime times featurs more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime t-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. Who knows what sound a cow makes? she asked. Mary put her hand up and said Moooo!

Very good replied the teacher, what sound do sheep make?
Baaaa answered Johnny. She continued this for a while.
Then she asked What sound does a pig make?
All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class.
He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, Up against the wall, motherfucker!

SITES OF THE WEEK
Nickname Generator - See what people at work call you behind your back
Rockstar Sex - See how good your favorite Rockstar is in the sac
Gay-O-Meter - Find out who gay you really are!
StarWars Rap - A funny rap with darth vader and the darth maull.
TIPS & TRICKS
Debit Card
I dunno how many jackasses there are out there that do not know how to use a debit card! Ever try to use it to pay at the pump or at the grocery store and it throws a "fuck you---you broke bastard" message back at you when you know damn well that there should be enough cash in there? I know its called a debit card...but choose CREDIT instead of DEBIT. This will let you use your card up to the very last penny and even overdraft...while with debit you must have at least $40 in your account before you try and use it.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Rony from NY
I have been with a great girl for about 1 year now, she is fucking great... All that i could ever want in a wife. The problem is that even though i am greatly satisfied in the relationship, i feel as though i am missing out. I feel as though i should be having more single fun... What are my options?

A:
Rony...this is an issue that every man must tackle at some point in his life. the good news is uncle JD has some solutions for you. the first thing to try doing is shaking up the mix a little. try getting another girl in the bedroom..a tricky maneuver, but not as hard to do as you might think. for making the threesome happen simply read last weeks "ask doc jd." if you've done the best you can to make that happen and it just isn't becoming a reality (that bitch) there is still something you can do. you need to take your love making to the next level. there is one main ingredient in this love salad and its called WEED. you need to smoke mountains of it and get in a zone. you need to get in the right frame of mind..it is not you vs. her... rather, it is you vs. a pussy. you are going to get in this zone and do everything you can to make that pussy cum so hard it blows the windows off your house. the name of the game is teasing..girls take time...you need to force yourself to not rush (the mountain of weed you just smoked will help this). tweak her nipples, bite her neck, lick her asshole, eat her pussy, eat her pussy and finger her asshole, finger her pussy and lick her asshole, stick large pieces of furniture in her ass...you get the point! now when you are in your zone you are going to forget all about the fact that you have seen this pussy more times than your childhood cat whiskers. instead, you are going to be licking your chops for her pussy because you will be starring down the barrels of a vagina vibrating on over time drooling out love juice all over the place. now dive into it...tear it to pieces and then go for the gusto..finish with some anal while she rubs her clit so hard it looks like she is a DJ on methanphetamine! so it is just that easy...just remember me-agi-nuts: see the pussy - be the pussy (but don't be A pussy). plus, if that doesn't work..you can just whack off to some beastiality porno (oops..was i thinking aloud again).

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys. This week it's a submission that makes flaming nuts a reality...


HOT NUTS!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "balls.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "balls.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Lot's of people don't understand what college and a good education will get you, watch our man from Yale do something that's just plain genius.

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In the five years since he moved to Wilkie, Saskatchewan (population 1,300), Louis Harewood, 56, who operates assisted-living homes and who is a former Baptist preacher, has been accused by husbands of seducing local married women, using his charisma to allegedly send the women into voodoo-like hazes in which they reject old friends and otherwise act strange. Harewood denies any sexual contact and blames certain former employees for spreading rumors. Still, petitions recently circulated urging him to go away. Said one woman, "Our biggest worry is that if he can control 40-year-old women, what about our 16-year-old daughters?" [National Post-Saskatoon Star-Phoenix]

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. if you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Batman, eat your heart out" by Scotty
Runnerups
"and this one time at band camp i stuck my hands in this chicks pussy!" by clint
"How do you piss off Winnie the Poo?...Stick two fists in his honey" by A

Archived Issues: 06-18-2001


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