A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. Who knows what sound a cow makes? she asked. Mary put her hand up and said Moooo!

Very good replied the teacher, what sound do sheep make?
Baaaa answered Johnny. She continued this for a while.
Then she asked What sound does a pig make?
All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class.
He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, Up against the wall, motherfucker!

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Rony from NY
I have been with a great girl for about 1 year now, she is fucking great... All that i could ever want in a wife. The problem is that even though i am greatly satisfied in the relationship, i feel as though i am missing out. I feel as though i should be having more single fun... What are my options?

A:
Rony...this is an issue that every man must tackle at some point in his life. the good news is uncle JD has some solutions for you. the first thing to try doing is shaking up the mix a little. try getting another girl in the bedroom..a tricky maneuver, but not as hard to do as you might think. for making the threesome happen simply read last weeks "ask doc jd." if you've done the best you can to make that happen and it just isn't becoming a reality (that bitch) there is still something you can do. you need to take your love making to the next level. there is one main ingredient in this love salad and its called WEED. you need to smoke mountains of it and get in a zone. you need to get in the right frame of mind..it is not you vs. her... rather, it is you vs. a pussy. you are going to get in this zone and do everything you can to make that pussy cum so hard it blows the windows off your house. the name of the game is teasing..girls take time...you need to force yourself to not rush (the mountain of weed you just smoked will help this). tweak her nipples, bite her neck, lick her asshole, eat her pussy, eat her pussy and finger her asshole, finger her pussy and lick her asshole, stick large pieces of furniture in her ass...you get the point! now when you are in your zone you are going to forget all about the fact that you have seen this pussy more times than your childhood cat whiskers. instead, you are going to be licking your chops for her pussy because you will be starring down the barrels of a vagina vibrating on over time drooling out love juice all over the place. now dive into it...tear it to pieces and then go for the gusto..finish with some anal while she rubs her clit so hard it looks like she is a DJ on methanphetamine! so it is just that easy...just remember me-agi-nuts: see the pussy - be the pussy (but don't be A pussy). plus, if that doesn't work..you can just whack off to some beastiality porno (oops..was i thinking aloud again).

-JD