For The Week Of 06/27/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"

His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."

Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."

The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"

He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Used To Belive -cute
New York NIghtlife -In the 70s
Build A Safety Sign -Put It On Your Door
The Raven-Recited By Chris Walken
Zlad's Back -Molvania's Favorite Soon
Name That Game -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Registrars
How to get free almost anything from companies....this has worked everytime ive tried it....ive tried it with Dr. Pepper...i emailed drpepper, told em i bought a 20oz. drink that tasted funny...they simply asked what store i bought it at, i made one up, then they asked my address...they then sent me 6 coupons for 6 twelve packs to redeem at any store....then i emailed Cpt. D's...told em i was shorted on a shrimp dinner, i got 2 free passes for 2 dinners with desert and everything, then i complained about KFC, when i ordered the food, got to the window i was told everything was on them... This will work w/any corporation...they are making so much damn $$$ that if you make a complaint they'll send you out some free goodies :)


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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Richie
There is this guy I like on the first floor of my dorm and we have already had sex but I want to do it again. How do I approach him without looking desperate?
A:

You're wise to be cautious, since many guys will run screaming at the slightest whiff of pleading or desperation in a female, especially one that they've already been intimate with. Prehistoric as it may seem, men most often like to be the pursuers in a relationship, and many will go out of their way to avoid emotional entanglements. The best way to approach this guy is to be casual yet confident about it. Don't give him the impression that you've been staying up late fantasizing about him, or doodling his initials on your notebook (even if you have). The next time you see him, strike up a brief conversation. Just make a little small talk, or throw a teasing comment his way. Keep it fun and playful. Once you've got his attention, look him in the eye, smile and say, "I really had a lot of fun with you the other night. Maybe we could do that again." If he responds favorably, try to set up a time to hang out. If he hedges or acts stand-offish, it's probably best to just cut your losses and move on. There are plenty of other young studs in the dorms. As long as you keep things light, you'll probably be able to get him in bed again, and maybe even fool around on an ongoing basis. The thing is, you just can't expect any lasting emotional commitment on his part. There's always an outside chance that love can blossom, but in the meantime be realistic and enjoy the fun you can have together without getting too heavy. ]

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Terrible Crash
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "helicopter.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "helicopter.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
KATHLEEN, Fla. - An 86-year-old man with emphysema died minutes after Lakeland Electric cut off electricity to his son's home, shutting down his oxygen machine. One day after Richard Howerton brought his terminally ill father John home from a nursing home, Lakeland Electric cut off the power to his home in Kathleen because he was late paying his bill. "What they did was cruel and inhumane," Joyce Howerton said of her father-in-law's death. "It was despicable." Utility workers didn't know a sick, elderly man was inside the home when the power was cut off on June 14. When the power was cut, the oxygen machine stopped and he died shortly after. Records show that Richard and Joyce Howerton were chronically behind on their bills. "This is a very unfortunate incident," said Kevin Cook, spokesman for the utility. "Our thoughts and condolences go out to the family." John Wesley Howerton had emphysema. He had been living with his wife Rachel in Mulberry, but she broke a vertebra in her back in May and could no longer care for her husband. John Howerton arrived at his son's home about 4 p.m. on June 13. On June 14, the power went out a few minutes after noon. And so did John Howerton's oxygen. The power was turned back after about an hour, but John Howerton had already died. "I knew my dad was going to die," Howerton said. "But he deserved to die better than what he did." Kathleen is 28 miles northeast of Tampa.
 
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"A real golden showerhead" -Jerry Runners-up
"Talk about family jewels"-Rick
"downtown julie brown reveals how she got her nickname" -Scott



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