For The Week Of 06/28/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two guys driving through Texas get pulled over by a state trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the driver's window. The driver rolls it down, and the trooper smacks the driver in the head with his nightstick. "Ow!" says the driver. "Why'd you do that?" The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready." The driver says, "I'm sorry officer, I'm not from around here." The trooper writes the guy a ticket and gives his license back, then walks around to the car's passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls the window down, and the trooper smacks him with his nightstick. "Ow!" says the passenger. "What'd you do that for?" The trooper says, "Just making your wish come true." "What the hell does that mean?" asks the guy. "Two miles down the road, you were gonna say, 'I wish that lousy cop would've tried that crap with me!'"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Maddox -Hilarious!
8 Ways To A Unhealthier You -Directions.
Ace An Intervention -Useful!
Crazy Drunk Driver -The Damage!
Online Hypnotism -Try It
Soccer -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Free Movies!
Big movie theaters are chargin’ an arm and a leg now to get into a movie. To take a little back from the giant crooks, head to the theater with four or more people, and have half your group purchase tickets, while the other half loiters outside. Once the ticketed party grabs enough seats for all of you, have one of them return from the theater with all the purchased stubs, and hand them to the remaining friends. If the stub ripper gives you any shit, just tell ’im you already entered and you’re on your way back from the can or your car or murdering a nosy theater employee. Works every time. Short on chums? Buy one ticket and rip it in half before you go in, giving the other half to your friend. Simply walk past the usher with confidence, quickly flashing him/her your ticket stub. contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by D
My guy wants to have sex while I have my period. I want to try it, but I'm worried about the mess. How should we go about it?

A:
Wait until your heaviest days pass, cover the surface where you're having sex with a towel and keep wet wipes within reach for a quick cleanup. When you're ready to do the deed, stick to man-on-top mode because when you're lying down, your menstrual secretions will likely be lighter than when you're upright. If you want to experiment with different positions but don't want to deal with the mess, insert a cervical cap, diaphragm or menstrual cup (an alternative to tampons and pads -- not a method of contraception -- that can be purchased at a local or online drug store) before you get busy. Just remember, not only is it possible to get pregnant when you have your period, but since the opening of your cervix widens -- to let the unneeded buildup of the uterine lining leave your body -- you can be at increased risk for pelvic infections and HIV. So, unless you and your partner are STD-free, use condoms.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Holy Tornado!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "tornado.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "tornado.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend." (9 pages)
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"More fraternity pranks from the abu ghraib prison!"-T
Runners-up
"Congratulations on graduating the 7-11 Manager course. Here is the last shower you will ever take"-RayJay
"Rain drop's keep falling on my head"-WillDog



contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_caption



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