For The Week Of 06/29/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before its knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar is closed for the rest of the day. Jesus walks up to the bar, but it's closed for hygiene reasons and he goes next door to a hotel. He hands the receptionist a couple of nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?" The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender.

After Jesus leaves disgruntled, a duck that has been kind of harassing the receptionist for the last few days by asking for grapes waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed. He jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar. The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing shit long enough to ask "Is this some kind of a joke?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Goddesses -At Sport
Awkward -Engagement Photos
They're Living -The Dream
Sexy Pornstars -On Instagram
The Raddest -Amputation Tattoos
BRO FORCE -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
CellBreaker Finds Breaches to Help You Switch Phone Carriers

Once you sign a two year contract with a cell carrier, you’re stuck with them, right? Not necessarily. If the carrier violates your contract with significant changes to your service, you may be able to break out early and switch. CellBreaker helps you find out if that’s happened to you. The service analyzes your cell phone contract, tracks changes made to your service over time, and if a breach of contract has occurred, it can help you get out of your contract. The service also offers to keep track of changes to your contract over time and let you know what they mean. Typically, you only have 30 days after a “material change” to your contract to jump ship, so even if you’re not planning on leaving your carrier right away, it might be worth it to be aware of what changes are happening.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Galaxy Girl

"I have been sucking dick for three years, and it didn't take long to develop the ability to deep throat. I can't always accomplish it, and I would like to improve on it. I want to try to actually swallow his member. How do I do this without hurting him? Can I do this simultaneous to his orgasm without hurting myself? Also, I heard that having your tonsils removed lessens the gag reflex. Is this true? Note, I plan to have them removed anyway as they give me alot of problems. Thanks for all your help!!"

A:

"I'd keep my tonsils now that I know more. but if to you they're just cosmetic, idk. I never did deepthroat before and after tonsilectomy, so I can't honestly know the possible difference. I can understand you wanting them out. If inflammation starts there all the time I'd be thinking of getting rid of them too. Did you know that paralytic polio only happened to people who had them out??"

-Lily

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Emergency Party Button


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
LONDON, ENGLAND -- A stowaway fell to his death from the bottom of a plane as it flew over London after making the 8,000 mile journey from South Africa. The man, believed to be in his late 20s, fell from the plane on the roof of an office in a busy high street in Richmond, south west London, close to Heathrow airport.

The victim fell on to the roof of the offices of gift retailer notonthehighstreet.com in Richmond, south west London, which is below the flight path, yesterday at 9.30am. According to reports in the Sun, police found the victim on top of an electrical box lying on his back with his legs in the air. But a second man survived the 11-hour flight from Johannesburg in South Africa, clinging to the bottom of a British Airways 747 jet. Police said the 24-year-old was discovered in the undercarriage of the plane at 8.30am. He was taken to a west London hospital for treatment in a serious but stable condition but is now described as critical.

Scotland Yard said they believe they know the identity of the second man but awaited confirmation before releasing further details.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference. Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

If you win you get a free Sublime Tee!
Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"It's simple: loop, swoop and pull."-Louis

Runner-up
"Can I borrow your top for a sec?"-Michael



Contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com



Show your support…suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |02-05-2007 |02-12-2007 |
|02-19-2007 |02-27-2007 |03-05-2007 |03-12-2007 |03-19-2007 |
|03-27-2007 |04-02-2007 |04-09-2007 |04-16-2007 |04-23-2007 |
|04-30-2007 |05-07-2007 |05-14-2007 |05-21-2007 |05-28-2007 |
|06-04-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-18-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-25-2007 |
|07-02-2007 |07-09-2007 |07-16-2007 |07-23-2007 |07-30-2007 |
|08-06-2007 |08-13-2007 |08-20-2007 |08-27-2007 |09-03-2007 |
|09-10-2007 |09-17-2007 |09-24-2007 |10-01-2007 |10-08-2007 |
|10-15-2007 |10-22-2007 |10-29-2007 |11-05-2007 |11-12-2007 |
|11-19-2007 |11-26-2007 |12-03-2007 |12-10-2007 |12-17-2007 |
|12-24-2007 |12-31-2007 |01-07-2008 |01-14-2008 |01-21-2008 |
|01-28-2008 |02-04-2008 |02-11-2008 |02-18-2008 |02-25-2008 |
|03-03-2008 |03-10-2008 |03-17-2008 |03-24-2008 |03-31-2008 |
|04-07-2008 |04-14-2008 |04-21-2008 |04-28-2008 |05-05-2008 |
|05-12-2008 |05-19-2008 |05-26-2008 |06-02-2008 |06-09-2008 |
|06-16-2008 |06-23-2008 |06-30-2008 |07-07-2008 |07-14-2008 |
|07-21-2008 |07-28-2008 |08-04-2008 |08-11-2008 |08-18-2008 |
|08-25-2008 |09-01-2008 |09-08-2008 |09-15-2008 |09-22-2008 |
|09-29-2008 |10-06-2008 |10-13-2008 |10-20-2008 |10-27-2008 |
|11-03-2008 |11-10-2008 |11-17-2008 |11-24-2008 |12-01-2008 |
|12-08-2008 |12-15-2008 |12-22-2008 |12-29-2008 |01-05-2009 |
|01-12-2009 |01-19-2009 |01-26-2009 |02-02-2009 |02-09-2009 |
|02-16-2009 |02-23-2009 |03-02-2009 |03-09-2009 |03-16-2009 |
|03-23-2009 |03-30-2009 |04-06-2009 |04-13-2009 |04-20-2009 |
|04-27-2009 |05-04-2009 |05-11-2009 |05-18-2009 |05-25-2009 |
|06-01-2009 |06-08-2009 |06-15-2009 |06-22-2009 |06-29-2009 |
|07-06-2009 |07-13-2009 |07-20-2009 |07-27-2009 |08-03-2009 |
|08-10-2009 |08-17-2009 |08-24-2009 |08-31-2009 |09-07-2009 |
|09-14-2009 |09-21-2009 |09-28-2009 |10-05-2009 |10-12-2009 |
|10-19-2009 |10-12-2009 |10-26-2009 |11-02-2009 |11-09-2009 |
|11-16-2009 |11-23-2009 |11-30-2009 |12-07-2009 |12-14-2009 |
|12-21-2009 |12-28-2009 |01-04-2010 |01-11-2010 |01-18-2010 |
|01-25-2010 |02-01-2010 |02-08-2010 |02-15-2010 |02-22-2010 |
|03-01-2010 |03-08-2010 |03-15-2010 |03-29-2010 |04-05-2010 |
|04-12-2010 |04-19-2010 |04-26-2010 |05-03-2010 |05-10-2010 |
|05-17-2010 |05-24-2010 |05-31-2010 |06-07-2010 |06-14-2010 |
|06-21-2010 |06-28-2010 |07-05-2010 |07-12-2010 |07-19-2010 |
|07-26-2010 |08-02-2010 |08-09-2010 |08-23-2010 |08-30-2010 |
|09-06-2010 |09-13-2010 |09-20-2010 |09-27-2010 |10-04-2010 |
|10-11-2010 |10-18-2010 |10-25-2010 |11-01-2010 |11-08-2010 |
|11-15-2010 |11-22-2010 |11-29-2010 |12-06-2010 |12-13-2010 |
|12-20-2010 |12-27-2010 |01-04-2011 |01-10-2011 |01-17-2011 |
|01-24-2011 |01-31-2011 |02-07-2011 |02-14-2011 |02-21-2011 |
|02-28-2011 |03-07-2011 |03-14-2011 |03-21-2011 |03-28-2011 |
|04-04-2011 |04-11-2011 |04-18-2011 |04-25-2011 |05-02-2011 |
|05-09-2011 |05-16-2011 |05-23-2011 |05-30-2011 |06-06-2011 |
|06-13-2011 |06-20-2011 |06-27-2011 |07-04-2011 |07-11-2011 |
|07-18-2011 |07-25-2011 |08-01-2011 |08-08-2011 |08-15-2011 |
|08-22-2011 |08-29-2011 |09-05-2011 |09-12-2011 |09-19-2011 |
|09-26-2011 |10-03-2011 |10-10-2011 |10-17-2011 |10-24-2011 |
|10-31-2011 |11-07-2011 |11-14-2011 |11-21-2011 |11-28-2011 |
|12-05-2011 |12-12-2011 |12-19-2011 |12-26-2011 |01-02-2012 |
|01-09-2012 |01-16-2012 |01-23-2012 |01-30-2012 |02-06-2012 |
|02-13-2012 |02-20-2012 |02-27-2012 |03-05-2012 |03-12-2012 |
|03-19-2012 |03-26-2012 |04-02-2012 |04-09-2012 |04-16-2012 |
|04-23-2012 |04-30-2012 |05-07-2012 |05-14-2012 |05-21-2012 |
|05-28-2012 |06-04-2012 |06-11-2012 |06-18-2012 |06-25-2012 |
|07-02-2012 |07-09-2012 |07-16-2012 |07-23-2012 |07-30-2012 |
|08-06-2012 |08-13-2012 |08-20-2012 |08-27-2012 |09-03-2012 |
|09-10-2012 |09-17-2012 |09-24-2012 |10-01-2012 |10-08-2012 |
|10-15-2012 |10-22-2012 |10-29-2012 |11-05-2012 |11-12-2012 |
|11-19-2012 |11-26-2012 |12-03-2012 |12-10-2012 |12-17-2012 |
|12-24-2012 |12-31-2012 |01-07-2013 |01-14-2013 |01-21-2013 |
|01-28-2013 |02-04-2013 |02-11-2013 |02-18-2013 |02-25-2013 |
|03-03-2013 |03-11-2013 |03-18-2013 |03-25-2013 |04-01-2013 |
|04-08-2013 |04-15-2013 |04-22-2013 |04-29-2013 |05-06-2013 |
|05-13-2013 |05-20-2013 |05-27-2013 |06-03-2013 |06-10-2013 |
|06-17-2013 |06-24-2013 |07-01-2013 |07-08-2013 |07-15-2013 |
|07-22-2013 |07-29-2013 |08-05-2013 |08-12-2013 |08-19-2013 |
|08-26-2013 |09-02-2013 |09-09-2013 |09-16-2013 |09-23-2013 |
|09-30-2013 |10-07-2013 |10-14-2013 |10-21-2013 |10-28-2013 |
|11-04-2013 |11-11-2013 |11-18-2013 |11-25-2013 |12-02-2013 |
|12-09-2013 |12-16-2013 |12-23-2013 |12-30-2013 |01-06-2014 |
|01-13-2014 |01-20-2014 |01-27-2014 |02-03-2014 |02-10-2014 |
|02-17-2014 |02-24-2014 |03-03-2014 |03-10-2014 |03-17-2014 |
|03-24-2014 |03-31-2014 |04-07-2014 |04-14-2014 |04-21-2014 |
|04-28-2014 |05-05-2014 |05-12-2014 |05-19-2014 |05-26-2014 |
|06-02-2014 |06-09-2014 |06-16-2014 |06-23-2014 |06-30-2014 |
|07-07-2014 |07-14-2014 |07-21-2014 |07-28-2014 |08-04-2014 |
|08-11-2014 |08-18-2014 |08-25-2014 |09-01-2014 |09-08-2014 |
|09-15-2014 |09-22-2014 |09-29-2014 |10-06-2014 |10-13-2014 |
|10-20-2014 |10-27-2014 |11-03-2014 |11-10-2014 |11-17-2014 |
|11-24-2014 |12-01-2014 |12-08-2014 |12-15-2014 |12-22-2014 |
|12-29-2014 |01-05-2015 |01-12-2015 |01-19-2015 |01-26-2015 |
|02-02-2015 |02-09-2015 |02-16-2015 |02-23-2015 |03-02-2015 |
|03-09-2015 |03-16-2015 |03-23-2015 |03-30-2015 |04-06-2015 |
|04-13-2015 |04-20-2015 |04-27-2015 |05-04-2015 |05-11-2015 |
|05-18-2015 |05-25-2015 |06-01-2015 |06-08-2015 |06-15-2015 |
|06-22-2015 |06-29-2015 |





[ back to sublime main ]