For The Week Of 07/01/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. “The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn’t get pregnant again.” Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Line Porn -Super Hot.
Dildos -Make Your Own.
Shits -Differnt Type Of!
Golf Tips -Courtesy Of The Onion!
Russian Roulette -You Vs. Gimp!
Virtual Date -Can You Get Laid!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat.... Cd Selling Stores!
Even better than returning a shitty used CD for a store credit, is returning the appearance of an unopened CD for a refund. Gently open the CD’s wrapper along the top or bottom by peeling away its folds, careful not to rip the plastic. (You can use a hairdryer to loosen the glue.) Next, slowly slide the CD case out of the intact wrap. Finally, open the CD by prying apart the joint on the bottom hinge, careful not to tear the seal along the top. That way you can listen to the CD, and still get your money back if it sucks. All you have to do is slide the CD and case back into the wrapper, and use clear glue to reseal the plastic. Genius!
R. Eshaya Schaumburg, IL

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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Lefty

my grandmother past away and left me 17k dollars. i've never had enough money to get a car and was wondering what you think i should get. btw, i have super shitty credit so wouldn't be able to lease or finance a car.

A:
well you have come to the right guy! i'm a serious car buff and like to switch 'em up about every 6 months. let me also tell you that having to pay cash for a car is a blessing in disguise. since you have to pay cash you can find the car you can actually afford. too many people finance a car that is way too much of a strain on their cash flow. i also think people buy new cars too often. as soon as you drive those new little fuckers off the lot you just lost 10% of the value of the car. if you are going to lease then fine a new car makes sense (b/c you are just paying the depreciation plus a premium so you don't really save much by leasing a used car). otherwise, buy a used car that is well taken care of and still has a good bit left on its warranty. now, the three attributes you want a car to have are reliability, drivability and looks. FIRST. if you want a car that is going to be reliable for a really long time you really only can choose from a japanese car or certain european cars. don't get me wrong..i LOVE american cars (i always have one american car) but you just never see a pontiac with 300,000 miles. you do, however, see toyotas, bmws and mercedes with 300,000+ miles. SECOND. you are either the kind of driver that does not like to feel the road at all or you are the kind of driver that loves to drive and feel the road right below you (i'm of the latter). if you like the "riding on a cloud" type of feeling go for the japanese car. if you like to drive and feel the road go for the european car. THIRD. looks are a very subjective thing so i'll give you some links to cars i like in that 17k range at ebaymotors (great place to find a car btw). i think you will be quite surprised of how nice of a car you can get with 17 grand. oh yeah, one more thing. you can ALWAYS take at least 10% off of what someone is asking for a car and 99 times out of a 100 they'll take it. just give them the offer and give them your number..tell them to call you when they have not sold the car. they will always be calling back..trust me. just go to kbb.com to double check and find out what the car is really worth (click on the private party value link). let me know what car you end up getting! here is a list of good buys for 17k.

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Running With The Bulls!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "bull.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "bull.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Dont Get Caught!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Uncontrolled crime (eight times the murder rate of New York City) and a huge wealth disparity (most people either fabulously rich or appallingly poor, with few in the middle) have caused the 1 million wealthiest residents of Sao Paulo, Brazil, to protect themselves by living in 300 gated communities (and have caused some to avoid the city's crime and squalor by traveling exclusively by helicopter), according to a June Washington Post dispatch. About 4,000 people a year without helicopter access armor-plate their cars at twice the price of the car. One walled community (Alphaville) houses 30,000 people, protected by 1,100 armed guards who keep the grounds under constant surveillance and pat down the servants as they head home from work. [Washington Post, 6-1-02]

 
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"Study finds tuna nets may capture unsuspecting whales"-Adam
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"Jurassic Pork III - The Director's Cut!" -Mick
"First U.S. case of Mad Cow , Iowa woman detained, more @ 11:00." -Jack



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