Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. “The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn’t get pregnant again.” Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.”

Q: submitted by Lefty

my grandmother past away and left me 17k dollars. i've never had enough money to get a car and was wondering what you think i should get. btw, i have super shitty credit so wouldn't be able to lease or finance a car.

A:
well you have come to the right guy! i'm a serious car buff and like to switch 'em up about every 6 months. let me also tell you that having to pay cash for a car is a blessing in disguise. since you have to pay cash you can find the car you can actually afford. too many people finance a car that is way too much of a strain on their cash flow. i also think people buy new cars too often. as soon as you drive those new little fuckers off the lot you just lost 10% of the value of the car. if you are going to lease then fine a new car makes sense (b/c you are just paying the depreciation plus a premium so you don't really save much by leasing a used car). otherwise, buy a used car that is well taken care of and still has a good bit left on its warranty. now, the three attributes you want a car to have are reliability, drivability and looks. FIRST. if you want a car that is going to be reliable for a really long time you really only can choose from a japanese car or certain european cars. don't get me wrong..i LOVE american cars (i always have one american car) but you just never see a pontiac with 300,000 miles. you do, however, see toyotas, bmws and mercedes with 300,000+ miles. SECOND. you are either the kind of driver that does not like to feel the road at all or you are the kind of driver that loves to drive and feel the road right below you (i'm of the latter). if you like the "riding on a cloud" type of feeling go for the japanese car. if you like to drive and feel the road go for the european car. THIRD. looks are a very subjective thing so i'll give you some links to cars i like in that 17k range at ebaymotors (great place to find a car btw). i think you will be quite surprised of how nice of a car you can get with 17 grand. oh yeah, one more thing. you can ALWAYS take at least 10% off of what someone is asking for a car and 99 times out of a 100 they'll take it. just give them the offer and give them your number..tell them to call you when they have not sold the car. they will always be calling back..trust me. just go to kbb.com to double check and find out what the car is really worth (click on the private party value link). let me know what car you end up getting! here is a list of good buys for 17k.

-JD