For The Week Of 07/05/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man is walking through the mall with his teen-age son. The son is tossing a quarter up in the air and catching it between his teeth. On one such attempt, the boy fails to clamp down with his teeth and ends up getting the quarter lodged in his throat. As the boy begins to choke and wheeze the father panicks and starts yelling for help. Not to far from the action is a man sitting at a coffee shop reading a paper and drinking his coffee, when he hears the fathers distressed cries he patiently puts down his coffee and folds his paper, he then walks slowly over to the boy and grabs him by the balls and squeezes the shit out of them. The boy coughs up the quarter and the man catches it in his hand and proceeds to walk away with it, sitting back down to his coffee. The amazed father runs over and says “Thank You Sir, you saved my son’s life, are you a Doctor?” “No” the man replies, “I work for the IRS.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ninga -Hide Your Skills!
Rock, Paper, Saddam -Hilarious.
MIlk Men -WTF!
Penis Owners Instruction Manual -Educational!
Guess Your Number -Cool
Stone The Crow -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Golf Courses!
Have you ever started a game of golf and had the urge to keep going b/c you are playing great like Mickleson, or wanting to improve your game as you play like Tiger but don't want to pay another +$60? Now you can! After you have completed your round, be it 9 or 18 you pull the classic, "Have you seen my club?" routine. As you clean your bag on 18, you notice that a club is missing so you frantically do the course in reverse asking other golfers if they have seen your Left handed Taylor Made pitching wedge. You continue this until you get to a lul in action or to the #2 green(Only to bipass the old, cranky starter on #1) It works every time, best time to do it is in the summer during dusk hours when there is noone on the course when the pace is fast and its cheap as a whistle to get the initial round in. It has worked everytime, except when someone did find a pitching wedge, yet since then I have made it the chances harder to find an actual club(hint the lefty status of the club) Enjoy! contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Mark
My girlfriend keeps initiating phone sex, but I always end up howling with laughter when we get into it. Any tips?

A:
The problem - though I hesitate to call this a problem - is that when your girlfriend dials your digits, she already has sex on the brain and is therefore prepped for a little 1-900 role-playing. Meanwhile, you've most likely been doing something about as sexual as drawing Easy Cheese faces on crackers or filing your monthly expense report. As a result, the sudden impact of her low, throaty whispers is more comedic than carnal. The solution: Ask her to hold the line for a minute. Now, put aside whatever you're doing, sit in a comfortable chair, take a deep breath, and picture her in the sexiest outfit and most compromising position your imagination can muster. Take a few seconds to savor some erotic details, then pick up the phone again and offer to describe the X-rated mental picture to her. Not sure how to vocalize your vision? Buy a book of erotica, like Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples, by Violet Blue, to help build a dirty yet female-friendly vocabulary

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Keep Your Jebus Off My Penis!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "jp.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "jp.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In April, Joshua Baldwin, 24, was sentenced to 180 days in jail for 16 incidents of indecent exposure to women in stores in downtown Bay City, Mich. His explanation to the judge: "I was only hoping to get lucky, but I went about it the wrong way." [Bay City Times, 4-23-04]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"it's a nice day for a white (trash) wedding!"-P
Runners-up
"newest version of invitro fertilization"-M
"Keeper"-N



contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_caption



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