For The Week Of 07/03/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order". The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order". The third surgeon said, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up everything is color coded. The fourth surgeon said, "I like operating on lawyers". The other three surgeons looked at each other in disbelief. One of them asked why. The fourth surgeon replied, "Because they are heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are interchangeable".

SITES OF THE WEEK
Stefan Hoenerloh -Great Artist
Transformers -Trailers
Beverly Hills 90210 -Where Are They Now?
Phone Trick -Be Nice~!
Citizen's Guide To A Police StopKnow Your Rights
Chopper Drop -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Pizza Joints!
Can't wait 30 minutes for some OxyContin addict to bring cold pizza to do your door? Just head down to the local delivery place and take a quick glance at the boxes waiting for pickup. Tell them you are "Mr. Svenston" or whoever has a pizza ready on the rack. Sometimes you will get stuck with something disgusting like vegetables on your pie, and other times you will get punched in the kidneys because "Mr. Svenston" is standing in line right behind you. But picking off the vitamins and absorbing a few punches is a small price to pay for prompt pizza.
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Dale D
I’ve been with my girlfriend for four months and we’re great together. But when I finger her, she says it hurts because I do it too hard. Can you give me any tips?
A:
Think back to your youth, those innocent days of kiss-chases and wedgies. Now, think a little further back than last week. Remember the universal sign language for doin’ it? You know, the circle with one hand with the finger of the opposite hand thrusting through it? If your current fingering technique resembles that old chestnut in any way, it’s no wonder your girlfriend’s crying, “Foul!” You need to think of “fingering” more as a concept, a synecdoche for all the things that you can do to please your girl manually. Some specifics: # Women need a little buildup, right? So tease her a bit by massaging her outer lips gently between your fingers or give them gentle little tugs—ever so slight, ya big oaf—before you ever touch her clit. # When you are touching her clit, rub it lightly with the pad of your finger, not the point. Ouch! # Apply just enough pressure so that the skin moves with your finger, but don’t bear down. Try it on the back of your hand. It doesn’t take much, does it? # Since lots of women can’t stand stimulation directly on their love button, try rubbing just above—say, moving the hood over her clit—or concentrating on the area just below it. Where a woman likes to be rubbed is individual, so ask her what feels best. Better yet, get her to show you. # When you finally get to the inner workings, do not—I repeat, do not—jam your finger up there. A woman’s business is a sensitive, receptive thing loaded with nerve endings. It can thus pick up on subtleties—you don’t need to drive the point home. # Do a little back and forth, but remember you’re not sawing down a redwood. Sometimes just having something in there can add that extra oomph, especially when paired with some good oral action. # Finally, try pressing up against the front wall of her vag. Turn your hand palm up, and make a come-hither motion—gently, of course—to make use of your proximity to her G-spot.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Soccer Tricks!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
July 2, 2006 -- A Manhattan face-painter and balloon-animal maker said overzealous cops tackled him off his bike, shoved two guns to his head and threw him in the slammer for more than four hours - all because his misplaced balloon pump looked like a bomb. Alexander "Sasha" Alhovsky said the takedown occurred in front of dozens of horrified children on Thursday at about 5.30 p.m. outside an Upper East Side playground. "They thought I was a terrorist," Alhovsky, 36, said yesterday. The previous Sunday, Alhovsky said, he left a rainbow-striped balloon pump in a Starbucks on 66th Street and First Avenue - and a worker called cops. Four days later, he was cycling home from Central Park - where he's plied his trade outside the zoo entrance for 15 years - when about eight cops jumped on him from behind, he claimed. "There was a gun in my face and another on the back of my neck," he said. "They were screaming, 'Get off your f- - -ing bike, you f- - -' . . . They were dragging me around." Alhovsky was taken to the 19th Precinct station house. Eventually, a plainclothes officer came into the room with a photo of the $850 electric air pump he had purchased online. "I told them what I did for a living and that it was just a pump," he said. Alhovsky was then released. Alhovsky said he wants an apology from cops. "It appears the officers took prudent steps to handle what may have been a dangerous situation," Police Chief Michael Collins said in a written statement.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"I'm glad I got the chocolate, the vanilla ones are never this big"-Chuck
Runners-up
"And that's how I met your mother!"-Jack
"When your done with that one I have another one in my pants"-Brain
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for cock cream."-Robo



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